blah bluh glub

Friday, February 17th, 2012 11:31 am
faevii: (ye shall not eff me)
A recap of things I have learned since my decision to go to that hospital in Hamburg:

- it's where my father used to work
- our old house is directly next to the hospital grounds
- that entire street was in fact reserved for employees at the time
- the ward is not just for women after all
- I'll actually be surrounded by people with similar problems for once
- getting there by train is a lot less expensive than I thought
- it doesn't take as long as I thought, either
- my mother's workplace is only 5 minutes from there by car
- there's a McDonald's nearby
- McDonald's sells cupcakes
- I really want to try some freaking cupcakes

(What?? CUPCAKES. :P Inspired by the realisation that they used to be practically unheard of in Germany until a few years ago and even now they're still tricky to acquire. My research also brought up an actual cupcake bakery in Hamburg, but sadly it's in a completely different area and kind of hard to get to via public transport. Quite close to where I used to attend group therapy, though! And it already existed back then. D: If I had but known ...)

So basically what's happening here is that I'm starting to think of the whole thing as this big adventure - against my own better judgement. Hmmm. The preparations aren't going very well, but at least my MP3 player is ready now. That's a start.
faevii: (ye shall not eff me)
- Shopping for towels and a harddrive and such will be done tomorrow, hopefully, aided by lots of tea because I completely forgot about this and slept in the middle of the day, so now I'll have to stay up all night and just ... pretend to still be awake in the morning.

- Clothes I have bought so far now also include a bra, three pairs of socks and a third set of season-appropriate pyjamas. That's the basics out of the way, I guess. If I run out of money or can't find anything else, at least the situation will only be mildly embarrassing.

- My membership of [ profile] danielpix was never approved; I guess the second moderator isn't actively moderating it anymore. However, I contacted the person next in line after myself and they took over for me, which ... was very nice of them, but now I feel terribly awkward about all this and am kind of avoiding the community for no good reason. Er. It'll pass.

- I've been making an effort to eat as many iron-rich foods as possible while drinking lots of orange juice for vitamin C, and of course I have no idea if it's working, but I do feel less tired from time to time and that's great even if it might be a placebo effect or coincidence. Note that I said "from time to time", though. It's so far from optimal that yesterday I ended up with literally not a single clean plate left and almost no cutlery. >_<;

- In a surprise turn of events, I not only managed to get up to date with Sinfest and found the place in Sam's journal where I'd left off (from which point on I am now slowly catching up), I also read a few of Patrick Rothfuss's older posts and then decided to just stick with the new ones.

(While I was at it, I promptly started going through all of my RSS subscriptions to throw out anything that had the potential to feel more like work than fun, unsubscribed from several long-since finished comics, some dead blogs and a couple of duplicates, found the new feed of something that I'd never realised had stopped updating, and finally marked the rest as read after having a short look at the titles. I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW. You probably can't imagine it if you don't use a feed reader or keep yours very organised, but I'm so glad that no matter when I check it now, I can be certain that every new item will actually be of interest to me. And not in a "I wish I could look at this but I'm not up to date yet" way, either. "50 unread items" actually means "50 unread items" again instead of "There might be about 5 items to read here if you're lucky." Except it's unlikely to ever get to 50 in the first place.)

how do you food

Saturday, February 4th, 2012 04:32 am
faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
Oh my goodness. It has come to my attention that some of the tiredness I've been suffering from lately may have been due to the beginnings of a simple iron deficiency. Thank you, random Tumblr post that had nothing to do with me whatsoever and that I got very close to not even seeing. D: I don't think I would have figured this out by myself! If it's true, that is. But it makes sense - I had noticed that something about it felt slightly different than usual.

Here's how I believe it happened:

- I realised that I could eat dairy and grains again.
- I ate a lot of dairy and found that I didn't seem to need meat anymore.
- I stopped eating meat altogether.
- Because I didn't need beans and chickpeas for protein anymore (cheaper than meat; what little meat I used to eat was probably in response to beans and chickpeas lacking fat), I kind of forgot about those a bit. Same with tofu, although I never bought that regularly in the first place (not cheaper than meat).

I've been reading up on iron-rich foods, and what did I find out? Dairy not only doesn't contain much iron, it even makes it harder for the body to absorb the stuff. Meat is obviously the best source of iron, and iron from other sources is harder to absorb in general. Vitamin C helps with that, but I probably haven't been consuming enough vitamin C, either. Both beans and tofu contain decent amounts of iron. Need I say more?? The timing fits, too.

Now, I know you're supposed to get deficiencies confirmed by a doctor before you start taking supplements, but I'm not really up to that sort of thing at the moment. I'll just try to keep an eye on the iron in my diet and drink a lot of orange juice during meals. Maybe if I can find a comparatively weak iron supplement somewhere, I'll also take that. I don't think it's easy to get an overdose while being vegetarian.

'By the way, about that ...' - in which I go off on a tangent on what's up with the sudden vegetarianism )
faevii: (broken spear)
I figured out a long time ago that the best way to get yourself to do something is not to try again and again to work up the motivation, but to closely observe your own actions in order to figure out what exactly is stopping you and then find a workaround. Some may call it cheating, but that's rubbish. Although ... I do enjoy thinking of it that way because becoming an expert at cheating life kind of sounds like a cool aspiration to have. :P

I feel like I'm incessantly but also extremely slowly working towards mastering this art, waiting for the day when I will finally have organised my life into submission. It's going so slowly that I fear most people who are sick and really good at managing their symptoms - or poor and really good at managing their budgets - would laugh at me if they could see me struggle everyday. Well, maybe if they're nice they would instead just kindly inform me that I'm Doing It Wrong.

Take this, for example: a few days ago, in the middle of a supermarket and out of absolutely nowhere, I suddenly thought, I know for a fact that it's almost always difficult for me to get the dishes done before I need to cook again. Perhaps instead of helplessly watching that happen over and over, I should deliberately alternate between meals that require a pot or pan and meals that don't? It would give me more time. Then I realised that while this was definitely a good idea, it would also require me to plan my meals in advance. That's something I've been trying to achieve - with little success - for years. >_<

I'm still working on it, mind you. One day I will totally get there. I mean, why not? I have the beginnings of a list of some food items and their prices, the beginnings of a list of some food items and their nutrient content (major nutrients, for not-accidentally-overdosing-on-carbohydrate purposes), the beginnings of a list of some food items and how many meals it takes to use them up ...

Meanwhile I'm merrily throwing things away because I didn't manage to eat them before they went bad, doing that "whoops too much sugar" thing all the time ... and surviving on snacks while the dishes are dirty. :|

People who can eat out a lot or order take-out or eat at work/school: MY ENVY LET ME SHOW YOU IT.

Food Update

Monday, December 12th, 2011 08:25 pm
faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
It still seems entirely possible that my body can handle gluten after all. There have been some mild ... say, digestive disturbances of several kinds since I stopped avoiding it, but they weren't bad and might well have had a different cause. We'll see.

Being able to eat bread again has really come in handy on my worse days. I often find myself thinking things like "Oh no, I barely managed to make tea and put the dishes in the sink to soak before I needed a break, it'll be hours until I can cook something ... wait, I could just eat bread!" Rice crackers were never that helpful in that regard because I needed to eat like a ton of them to stay satisfied for longer than an hour.

Being able to eat butter instead of margarine is also nice, but I can't say I missed the endless waiting for it to get softer. I forgot to check which is cheaper, though. Probably the margarine, but then cheap margarine doesn't taste very good and butter is butter no matter which brand you choose. I like that about it. A single ingredient, no variations. I find uncomplicated food sort of reassuring.

I wonder if I am saving money already or if the fact that I bring back a few "I need this because I haven't had it in ages" foods each time I go shopping has prevented that so far ...
faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
Change of plans. I decided to spend some time getting stuff done instead of going to bed ridiculously early. It was probably a bad idea, but then again ... I hardly did a thing during the last two days, so there was catching up to do. I'm not sure I would have been able to handle that tomorrow, if my past reactions to sleeping "normally" are anything to go by. It always seems to make me feel like crap in the physical sense, to be honest. I can think more clearly and have less trouble writing, but don't ask me to get up from my chair! Ugh.

I'll just ... stay awake again and continue as planned tomorrow? Hopefully this time I won't fall asleep on my chair. How do I even do that all the time?! It's not exactly comfortable ...

One of the things that I did was to buy a lot of food. I decided that it was time to move on from being all tentative about gluten-containing stuff by now, even though I still wouldn't say I'm convinced that I can eat it. What if the whole dilemma with the debilitating stomach cramps and you don't want to know what else suddenly does start up again? What if it takes a month for that to happen? It's not impossible, so I remain skeptical. But for now I am going to eat normally and thus I found myself faced with an abundance of ~OPTIONS~ at the supermarket. It was so hard not to buy everything at once! Dairy, too. I mostly walked around with a kind of dazed smile on my face, staring at the shelves in amazement but unable to decide what to reacquaint myself with first. XD I guess I did all right in the end. There will be spagetti later!!

Something funny happened when I walked past the ice cream section. I didn't intend to buy any, but had a look anyway. I spotted a brand that I remembered to be relatively cheap but delicious, and suddenly I found myself missing Daniel a whole lot. o.O I guess we used to ... sort of bond over food? I secretly loved it when he unexpectedly brought home something unnecessary but awesome like ice cream, even though I wished he did it less often because of the money. I actually did the same thing myself when I was the one to do the shopping, though usually with cheaper items and not as many at a time. And then if we were lucky enough to get the chance, we'd sit down with our "special" food and watch a movie or something. It was quite nice.

Not that we couldn't still do this, especially now that my dietary restrictions are seemingly gone. We simply need to remember to meet up for such evenings from time to time. :) He's looking for a new place though; I hope he finds one in this town and doesn't have to move away ...
faevii: (OMGWTFBBQ!!1)
I just got back from buying the things that I mentioned. It's not exactly morning anymore, but early enough to not disrupt my plan. Everything appears to be going well so far.

The same can be said for my gluten experiment, by the way. I will remain skeptical until I've been eating the stuff for at least one week, but for now I'm perfectly fine. Again, I cannot believe this is happening. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop ...

What distracted me from going into town earlier was Stargate Atlantis. I finally started watching it a few days ago and appear to be completely addicted already. I knew I was going to like it because I dimly remembered seeing a few episodes on tv once and that I enjoyed those very much, but what I didn't expect was that it would make me feel all nostalgic.

Apparently I hadn't only watched a few episodes back then, and suddenly I remembered exactly when "back then" was, too. I also had no idea that what I'd seen was season 1. Out of the first seven episodes, the very first was the only one that I wasn't entirely sure felt familiar. Then the next one was new to me, the one after that wasn't, and in case of episodes 10 and 11 I was once again not quite sure.

As I watched these vaguely familiar (and seemingly twice as awesome as last time) characters do vaguely familiar things, memories from the group home unexpectedly started to come back to me.

Watching tv with the boys. The illusion of being part of a group. One of them being a total Stargate expert and explaining the entire backstory to us others, when Daniel and I had merely wanted to know what had happened during the episode or part of an episode that we'd missed. Getting more and more excited about the show each week. Being surprised that Daniel was just as excited as I was; K being happy that we liked it at all.

I don't know when the episodes will stop looking familiar; whether we watched the season to the end or not and whether the second even came on while we still lived there. I'm looking forward to discovering things that are new to me, but I'm also enjoying this vague familiarity a lot. I sure love the show on its own as well though - I'm not yet sure why, it just ... seems to be practically made for me, somehow. I love everything about it and all of the characters. ALL OF THEM. Almost equally except that McKay has always been my favourite and now I'm suddenly taking a shine to Sheppard instead. I think it's got something to do with his voice; on German tv it was dubbed and who knows how that influenced my impression of him.


Glorious Food

Saturday, November 26th, 2011 03:31 am
faevii: (happiness)
I have now officially consumed

- a moderate amount of butter
- quite a lot of nutella
- a small cup of yogurt

without complications. Wow. I still can't believe this is happening. There's another cup of yogurt in my fridge, but I forgot to check the list of ingredients when I bought it and have since discovered that it "may contain traces of gluten", so I won't eat that one until I've moved on to the gluten stage of my experiments.

I also have some chocolate, however. CHOCOLATE. Freaking Toblerone, even. I can't wait to try it, but I'd better eat something reasonable first so that I don't upset my stomach independently of lactose content.

In other news, I was awake for more than 40 hours and then only slept for seven, so uh ... I'm starting to feel a little dazed here. Better start cooking right this second or I'll never manage it.

Things and stuff.

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011 01:29 pm
faevii: (an actual sentence)
  1. I am so going to buy some regular milk products today. If I can eat them, I will have to conclude that what happened was that last year my digestive system somehow decided that it didn't like lactose for a while ... and then changed its mind. Which still doesn't make any sense, but I'll take what I can get.

  2. Once that's been sorted out, I will also buy something with gluten in it - something other than pasta, though, because I already tried that. It'll be my one, final experiment. If it goes as badly as the last one, I will resign myself to somehow being gluten intolerant in spite of testing negative for Celiac, and having to spend a lot of money on food forever. :| (Goodbye, entertainment?)

  3. I am currently fighting two battles in my head, sort of. One is about feeling stupid, which the internet constantly reminds me of because I keep coming across a) things that I just don't understand and b) evidence of other people understanding a thing better than I do. I don't know why this bothers me so much more than usual at the moment. The other problem is ... basically a huge load of envy? I'm just so fed up with never having everything that I need, much less what I want. Other people talking about school or work or hobbies make me feel frustrated because I worry about warm clothes and food instead. And I don't see any way out of this situation. :( The internet seems to be nothing but one big reminder of how much my life sucks sometimes, so I almost want to stay away from it for a while. But only almost.
    faevii: (ye shall not eff me)
    I saw this nice-looking "Christmas tree" candle holder today that was relatively big and not that expensive - why didn't I buy it?! I've wanted something like that for years because I am kind of against killing trees just to decorate your living room with them temporarily. Okay, technically what I had in mind was still a bit bigger, but you have to take what you can get, right? Silly me, deciding to be reasonable and save money even with something like that in front of my nose.

    Anyway, this morning was a bit weird because for a while it was basically an exact reenactment of Friday morning. Both times I'd deliberately stayed awake two nights before, both times I'd gone to bed in the afternoon and nearly overslept regardless, both times I practically jumped out of bed and straight into the shower instead of eating breakfast first as I usually do ... and so on. Then A picked me up to drive me to the ALDI market in another town; ours is currently being rebuilt and therefore closed. Which is impractical because I normally buy a lot of things there.

    So she helped me out with that and afterwards I quickly popped inside the store directly next to it as well, which incidentally happens to be the one I always went to during my hospital stay; the one selling all of those amazing, lactose-free and gluten-free things. I finally caved and bought some bread. BREAD. BREEEAADD. *___* (Also incidentally, and this is funny, I ended up there on Friday, too - that time I just didn't have enough money for gluten-free bread with me. I had no idea I'd remain such a regular customer even after going back home!)

    Come to think of it, it's kind of ironic that I resisted a thing I'd wanted for years only to buy some expensive freaking food. -_-
    faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
    Oh look, it's a new day. An actual, new, separate day. LOL. I can't believe I seriously stayed awake for 55 hours! That's three freaking days, even if "three days" makes you think of 72 hours at first. I got up Wednesday morning (albeit late) and went to bed Friday evening. Three. Days.

    Let's hope I never do that again, shall we? It was way too easy in the end. I mean, I didn't feel any more tired than I usually do after one sleepless night - I'd almost say less. I didn't even experience any of the more unpleasant effects that not sleeping occasionally has on me, such as muscle pain, swollen fingers or being extremely cold. I felt cold for a few hours once or twice, but that was it.

    Today I've already been grocery shopping, which was urgently necessary - somehow I never manage to buy enough for an entire week. Just when I thought I'd done it, I ran out of milk and sugar! I don't think I'd ever run out of sugar while actually needing it for something before. This time I wanted to make peanut butter cookies and couldn't. Normally I also don't need milk all that often ...

    My body was doing a sort of "say no to solid food" thing this morning. I mentally went through everything I had that I might eat for breakfast, but none of it felt right. What I really wanted was to drink a number of different beverages, especially chocolate milk, which I only ever buy to drink on the go because it's expensive and I don't want it that often. Basically it's my special treat for whenever I have reason to enter the one store in town that sells it, or when I'm having a "fuck this day, I'm buying ALL the food" moment.

    I figured since I needed to get groceries anyway, I could just postpone breakfast until afterwards and calm my stomach with chocolate milk on the way. So I went straight to the aforementioned store, fought off waves of nausea until I got there and felt ridiculous standing in line with nothing but a small container of chocolate milk. I do ridiculous things for the sake of liquid food, apparently.

    (My body actually does this on a regular basis. I can usually stomach yogurt or pudding then, but of course I didn't have any this morning. Now I do. Hee. Pudding.)

    Food & Decisions

    Saturday, October 1st, 2011 05:40 pm
    faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
    As if to make up for the fact that I don't need to pack (much) today, my brain decided to come up with a different problem: I forgot to buy enough food for three days instead of two. >.<; If I want to be back when I said I'd be back, I have to leave in little more than an hour - which means I can't really go food shopping a second time anymore. That alone often takes me an hour. So either I think of a way to make what I've got last three days ... or I could always decide to return late on purpose. But. I don't want to walk through swarms of mosquitoes in the dark. And take my pill too late. And find that my roommate has turned on the light without closing the window first. Being late is stressful! =.=

    Well. A can of beans, some cheese, two sausages, half an onion, a tiny rest of lentils ... I could make two more warm meals. Somehow. I'd just have to eat a lot of rice crackers and peanut butter between those. And possibly polenta? I don't have milk, but the instructions say it can also be made with water. A little boring, that ... but I'll live. It's a challenge!

    I don't know why my paragraphs all end on an exclamation mark today. Look! This one doesn't. XD

    So I'm going to leave soon, but I'll be back tomorrow. I may or may not decide to visit my family tomorrow afternoon, which would require even more unexpected train tickets. IDK. Part of me is thinking, "Be sensible! You're already spending more money on transportation than usual this week, don't do it!", but then there is also that other part that's thinking, "Be sensible! You need to spend more time with your family - in fact you need to spend more time with people in general; what's a little money compared to that?!" See, this is what I mean when I say that I often try to be reasonable but can't figure out which is the reasonable course of action. :|

    Either way you'll probably hear from me in the morning.
    faevii: (slice of brain)
    I just realised that the way I have been eating during this month so far may not be good for me. I mean, part of it was not being able to have regular meals and that is obviously not good for anyone, but I also keep getting that annoying feeling again - that each time I'm done eating, I'm simultaneously still hungry and yet uncomfortably full. At first I thought it might be an effect of not eating enough overall, but on some days that was really not true ...

    Then it occured to me that until I spent too much money at IKEA, I'd been eating an awful lot of protein - all those chickpeas, you know. XD It's pretty normal for me to have cold cuts on not-bread* at least twice a day, plus at least one warm meal containing meat, beans, chickpeas or cheese (until recently also eggs), and additionally I'd been eating chickpeas as snacks. And sausages. I never noticed how often that happened because it wasn't on purpose, but now that I'm thinking back on it ...

    What changed was that I tried to limit my chickpea consumption to when they were part of a warm meal, and then I ran out of cheese for a few days. Once I had cheese again, I ran out of lunch meat (which I think is the right term even though I never eat it for lunch). And now I'm feeling terrible. I don't even like my breakfast anymore.

    But. I can't just empty a can of chickpeas and a can of beans and a third of a package of cheese or lunch meat or both every single day. That would be financial madness, not to mention pretty weird. How do vegetarians do this?! Do I have an unnaturally high need for protein???

    This is kind of freaking me out because if those things are indeed related, then I just don't know how I'm supposed to afford survival. I can't even think straight, hopefully this post is not too incoherent. I'll go food shopping now, but I don't know how long I can reasonably expect to make everything last once I've got it.

    One more week until I finally get to see that doctor again who may or may not have failed to inform me of the correct conditions under which to be tested for celiac disease.

    *I wish this didn't always mean rice crackers. Well, sometimes it means corn crackers. Oh, the variety.


    Thursday, August 4th, 2011 03:35 am
    faevii: (an actual sentence)
    Somebody please explain to me why I am awake? I slept somewhat normally for what, three days? You'd think I'd be allowed a little more time to recover, but no. Evidently we can't have that.

    By now I have moved on from making smarter shopping lists to trying my hand at meal planning, which is kind of difficult to do if you had meant to start the next day, but then you stay awake so long that you need to eat again. WTF am I supposed to eat at this time of night? More sandwiches? I'm not going to cook at four in the morning, but my last meal was sandwiches already! Argh. I suppose I could always ... sacrifice some of that chocolate pudding for the greater good. Uhm. Yes.

    Seriously though, meal planning. I appear to suck at it, but mostly because I can't concentrate. I suspect it would be just my thing, otherwise. Well, I like making lists.

    There is really no point to this entry at all, is there? :P

    Money & Food

    Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011 05:43 pm
    faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
    I'm currently trying to put together a smarter shopping list than usual because I really don't have much money left after I've been to IKEA. Normally I don't reach this point until at least two weeks into the month, so this is a bit of a problem.

    I have discovered, to my own surprise, that most of the meals I frequently cook actually cost under or around an euro. What makes things expensive is when I add coconut milk or empty a whole jar of sausages in one day (that would be five medium-sized* sausages, FYI - I'm not some sort of Sausage Monster :P).

    It's difficult to figure out how much rice and cheese cost me because I have no idea what percentage of a package I use up for one meal, on average. I can guess at the rice, but the cheese? I'm afraid I'll have to remember to count the slices next time.

    Drinks shouldn't be a problem if I fall back on tea more often.

    Incidentally, one container of lactose-free chocolate pudding costs around the same as two rice cracker and jam sandwiches (my usual breakfast), so I suppose even that could be excused from time to time.

    There is entirely too much thinking to be done here. Ugh.

    *Oddly enough, these jars are actually less expensive than the ones containing eight larger sausages. Same brand. No other difference. Counter-intuitive, huh? I don't get it, either. (ETA: I'm talking about the relative price, of course. In case that wasn't clear, LOL.)
    faevii: (slice of brain)
    For several days now, I have been feeling oddly stuffed yet hungry at the same time almost constantly. It makes deciding whether and what to eat rather difficult, which is not something I want to deal with while I do have the energy to prepare meals for a change. >:( Since I remember pretty exactly how I used to eat while everything was fine, I'm kind of forcing myself to do that again today. The same foods, the same amounts, the same intervals between meals ... only dictated by memory instead of it being instinctive. I don't know, I thought it might help. So far the strange feeling has persisted, but at least I know I'm reasonably well-fed.

    When I moved here and found that eating was suddenly not a problem anymore, it only took me two or three days to fall into a routine. I was surprised to discover that I only needed a single serving of whatever I was eating to be satisfied now, and that I didn't get hungry again until three or more hours later. Three whole hours during which I could take my mind off food completely! It was like an unexpected holiday each time. And only one serving! I could manage that much even on my worst days - as in, a single sandwich is not that hard to make, or eat for that matter. It used to be that I ate two and then gave up, still hungry.

    All of this probably sounds pretty strange to people who haven't experienced it. *shrugs*
    faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
    On the whole, my first week alone was amazing. The floor in the hall wasn't done yet, there was no light in the kitchen and all I had to cook with was a single pot, but it was great. Thanks to a number of factors such as less allergens in the air, a better mattress and practically no stress whatsoever (to only name a few), I slept better and had much more energy. I could concentrate better and going outside was suddenly not a problem anymore. Showering was easy. I never got bored. BASICALLY IT WAS AWESOME OKAY. :D

    My wrists became terribly dry because I wasn't used to doing the dishes by hand and my feet hurt because I wasn't used to not wearing shoes inside, but eventually I adapted. I visited Timo every single day and probably played with him more than when we were still living together. I enjoyed being able to do whatever I wanted whenever I felt like it, and not having to worry about things being Potentially Dirty because I knew what was clean and what wasn't. Since I didn't have much money left after buying a vacuum cleaner and such, I even discovered that €15 could get me through an entire week if I was careful.

    Then I suddenly couldn't eat wheat anymore.


    Yeah. I actually laughed, you know. I don't know why, but my first reaction was this kind of hysterical amusement. Of course that would happen right after I'd finally managed to get the hang of living with lactose intolerance. Of course that would happen while I was basically broke and thought I'd figured out how to survive on €15 a week. WHEN ELSE. GOODBYE, CHEAP BREAD.

    While I was still unsure what was going on, there was a day on which I cried for hours and hours, mostly due to the debilitating stomach cramps but also because I was scared. And possibly mourning noodles, while fervently hoping it was something else. It wasn't. When I finally stopped eating anything of the kind, my stomach felt better immediately and the rest of my body within two or three days. That could hardly be a coincidence.

    I have since been tested for Celiac Disease (gluten intolerance), but either that's not it or the doctor made a mistake. Like, I don't know, maybe forgetting to tell me that I still needed to be eating the stuff for it to work. I have yet to ask him, since my next appointment is not until two weeks from now because I thought I'd also have my lactose intolerance officially confirmed while I was at it, and something went wrong with that test. >_<

    Scraping the money together that I suddenly needed to feed myself for the rest of the month wasn't easy, but fortunately I had help. I also ate a lot of rice, and I was extremely grateful for all the positive effects from moving out that I still felt. Without them I would have been screwed.

    (Ironic icon choice is ironic.)


    Thursday, July 7th, 2011 11:57 pm
    faevii: (happiness)
    Today has been one of the nicest birthdays I've had in several years. Not too exciting, but really nice. :) And not a single bad thing happened, unless you count the fact that I didn't get much sleep. It hardly made a difference.

    Before I even went to bed, I already had some fun because I was still online after midnight, and so were [ profile] dollrock, [personal profile] zanzando and [personal profile] chasingthunder (for whom it wasn't midnight yet). Between Twitter and here, I talked to all three of you at the same time once, which was awesome because for some reason I hardly ever manage to be online at the right moment to have ongoing conversations like that with one person, never mind three. It was excellent timing.

    I was also pleasantly surprised just by how many people wished me a happy birthday. I doubt all of them truly cared (nor did I care whether some of them cared, if you get my meaning), but it was still nice to see an email notification pop up every few minutes.

    We'll skip the part where I slept badly and then spent what little was left of the morning doing boring stuff. Moving on. I needed to go grocery shopping, so of course I reasoned that since it was my birthday, I was allowed to spend a little more money than usual. That's why I am now surrounded by luxuries - ahem - such as pomegranate-flavoured iced tea and two types of lactose-free chocolate. I'm pretty sure I deserve that much after two months of (mostly) sticking to the basics.

    Then Daniel came over, who proudly announced that even though he didn't have a present for me yet, he at least knew what to get me already. Heh. As we waited for my family to show up, I got a phone call from the social worker known here as A, who asked if she could quickly stop by to drop off my present. Which she then did. I'd given her a list of several CDs to choose from and was quite delighted to discover that the one she'd actually bought me was my current favourite, Biffy Clyro's Infinity Land. :D She also gave me a mug (always useful) and some more chocolate.

    My mother and my sisters arrived while she was still there, so now they've met. My brother stayed home, which turned out to be oddly convenient because we wanted to go to the lake and this way Daniel fit into the car, too.

    The first thing we did once we got there was to try out the recently overhauled restaurant by the water - I hadn't had the time to eat a proper lunch. For a moment we were all decidedly baffled by the menu, especially me since I needed to figure out which of the items on it I could eat without endangering my health, and none of us even knew what half of them were. Fortunately, a very friendly and patient waitress soon came to our rescue. She not only answered all of our questions, but even picked up on the nature of my particular problem without being prompted and asked me what it was that I couldn't eat so that she could have the cook put something unique together. It was such a relief; I'm not used to people being helpful anymore!

    In the end, I think most of us were happy with what we found on our plates.

    After that we just walked around for some time, talking and enjoying the scenery. Also, this happened:

    E and M crossing a stream by balancing on a very thin ... something

    In case you're wondering, nobody fell into the water. Daniel pwned us all by casually walking over the thing as if it were no big deal. :D I considered giving it a go myself, but seeing as I was suffering from moderate dizziness at the time, I decided that it would be a Very Bad Idea.

    My mother's present is that she will take me to IKEA in two weeks or so and pay for one or two of the bigger things I'll pick. This makes me happy on several levels. (I know I mentioned on Twitter that I was postponing my IKEA trip to August, but I'm relatively certain I've discovered a way to do the shopping now and pay later, so that's not necessary anymore.)

    Last but not least, they brought me my old keyboard. I'd left it at their place when I moved out because I didn't have the space for it and knew that my mother wished she could keep it, but recently I found myself missing it. When I mentioned this to her, she said she didn't need it anymore and of course it was still mine anyway, so I could have it back. I just hadn't been expecting to see it today, at all. That was another pleasant surprise.

    On the whole, not a bad way to celebrate having survived a quarter of a century.

    I think the waitress assumed I was underage. XD


    Sunday, January 2nd, 2011 08:00 pm
    faevii: (OMGWTFBBQ!!1)
    Oh dear oh dear oh dear, it seems that Daniel has landed us in financial trouble once again and this time it's kind of serious. I mean, not really serious, but there's a high probability that our telephone and internet connection will be turned off in the very near future and I can't think of any way to prevent it.

    The problem is that he spent too much time talking to his father on the phone, landline to mobile. This resulted in a quite, uh, spectacular bill. And I thought we at least had a while left to pay it, but I just found out that apparently we've already failed to pay on time three times or so* and now we've been given FIVE DAYS. Five days that ... are already over, actually, so I don't even know why I can still tell you this. Chances are the line will go dead sometime tomorrow morning.

    It's an amount that we could probably scrape together within a month if we really put our minds to it, but unfortunately there are other things that need to be paid off as well and on top of it Daniel happens to owe a friend money at the moment. @___@

    I'm trying to come up with combinations of extremely cheap foods that still contain all the major nutrients and are also lactose-free. Riiight. SUGGESTIONS, ANYONE??

    Staples one could make use of include rice, pasta and lentils. Potatoes are more expensive than those, I believe. What to get protein from if it's rice or pasta time, though? Eggs? The one type of cheese I can eat? Beans? Need to investigate which of those is the cheapest option and can therefore be eaten most often. And what to get fat from on lentil days? More cheese? Or can vegetable oil be enough? GAH.

    I suspect there are actually some canned meals available that are cheaper than anything you could make on your own, but of course I can only eat about two of those.

    Also, I guess this means I'll continue to wear sneakers in the snow. :|

    *I just haven't been in any condition to keep up with these things lately, plus some of it is normally handled by Daniel's legal guardian and therefore invisible to me. Too bad even he can't pull money out of nowhere.
    faevii: (Default)
    Realised that I can still eat dark chocolate. Face, meet palm. I never liked it all that much on its own, but lots of things that happen to be coated with dark chocolate have just become an option again.

    Also, I recently discovered how easy to use downloadable subtitles are. I thought I'd have to learn how to install them first and was never in the mood to go looking for a tutorial, so I told myself that it was totally okay if I only understood 60% of what I was watching sometimes. Except it obviously wasn't. This is why I am very happy to have accidentally downloaded a torrent that already included the subtitles for all files, which then turned out to be all simple and self-explanatory! If you use VLC, that is - I don't know about other players.

    It was about time I figured that out, too. How did I even make it through five seasons of Doctor Who without subtitles?! There was a point, somewhere along the way, when I asked myself if watching things in English was really worth this much trouble. I very nearly started to consider (LOL) downloading German dubs instead, if available.

    Then I realised that I don't actually understand German much better. Haha. I mean, of course there is a difference. I've had 24 years to get used to this language, to identify patterns and become relatively good at guessing what someone might have said if I didn't properly catch it - with English I just don't have that. Still, I've seen things in German that I didn't understand more than maybe 75% of, either. Come to think of it, I've had conversations of which I understood less than that. It's all a question of luck.

    So basically, all those times I tried to watch something in English without subtitles because after all I didn't "need" subtitles for German, either? I should have considered the option that maybe I do. The stress I could have been avoiding! >_<

    Can't decide what it was that fucked me over: lack of information, internalised ableism or pride. Possibly a combination of all three.


    faevii: (Default)

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