faevii: (creepy irish ninja cat)
Once upon a time, I was hanging out on a kink meme, which is generally not something that I do often. It's where I go when I've already read almost all of the fanfiction about a specific pairing and still want more, so basically it only happens if a) the pairing is rare/new or b) I'm going through one of those phases where I spend a lot of time reading fanfic and additionally don't get distracted by any new fandoms for a while.

So I was hanging out on this kink meme, looking for the fluff among the ... kinkiness. I don't mind the occasional bit of vaguely kinky sex in the middle of a fic that also has a proper plot or something, especially since I often skip the sex scenes anyway, but there are many things I have no interest in reading. Except on that day, I actually came across a prompt that involved a kink that I sort of ... have? Which is not a sex thing. Just a "may or may not possibly turn me on" thing. (No. Not telling. :P) And I was already amazed that somebody had even requested this, but then I discovered that the prompt had also been filled!

Obviously I needed to read that fic, although I felt slightly ashamed of it in light of who it was about. To be quite honest, I didn't think it was particularly well-written ... but it wasn't entirely bad, either. Then I had a look at the comments, curious as to other people's reactions. And I found one, anonymous of course, that basically TOLD THIS EXACT STORY. Like, "I normally don't visit kink memes for the kinky bits, I'm only here for the fluff, but wow, this is actually a kink that I'm into and I was so surprised to see this!!" Well, I'm paraphrasing because it's been a while and I feel like I might even be forgetting yet another aspect of the comment that I could relate to, but that was the gist of it.

I WANTED TO COMMUNICATE WITH THIS ANON SO BADLY. And, and. Oh gods. There was just no way. Never mind that it would have been nigh impossible to take the conversation elsewhere without revealing our identities to anyone, the thread was like two years old and the person had probably long forgotten that it existed. Besides, what could we have talked about anyway? "So are you also on the asexual spectrum or do you just really like fluff"?? "How do you feel about being into this"??? I think all I wanted was to have a bit of a ~fistbump~ moment. "Yay, we're not alone. Okay, bye."

On a slightly different note, I wish I could write, because I totally had this whole bag of ideas on how to make that fanfic better. And ... maybe not about the same people. =_=;;; although I must admit that one of them did make an excellent subject for why am I still talking
faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
Sometimes I think that I'd be much better at Getting Stuff Done if I had a kitchen timer. You might be wondering why I don't, then - and really, I've been meaning to buy one for ages, but I got stuck waiting for That Day When We Happen To Have Some Money Left Over. Granted, kitchen timers are not exactly expensive ... it just seems silly to ask for one when every single time that we make a shopping list, I talk Daniel out of at least one thing that he wants. u_u

Well, soon I'll have to buy a lot of stuff for my new flat, anyway.

The thing about kitchen timers is, they're so persuasive. A mobile alarm, in addition to being harder to set up because my phone doesn't have a countdown feature, is like a gentle nudge to remind me that my ten minutes are up and I should probably consider abandoning my current activity sometime in the near future. The sound of a kitchen timer, on the other hand? Hmm, how do I explain ...

Basically, this is what I hear when the thing goes off:
HEY THERE LAZY FUCKER DO YOU HEAR ME
YOUR TIME'S UP AND I'M NOT GOING TO SAY IT TWICE
THAT "IT'S ONLY BEEN 27 SECONDS SINCE THE ALARM" BULLSHIT WON'T WORK ON ME
I'M NOT A CLOCK SO I DON'T EVEN DISPLAY THE TIME
IF YOU'RE NOT MOVING YET ONCE I'VE STOPPED YELLING AT YOU, YOU'RE LATE - PERIOD
BESIDES ALL OF YOUR NEIGHBOURS CAN HEAR ME
EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOMETHING NOW
THEY MAY NOT BE ABLE TO CHECK WHETHER YOU ARE BUT YOU'D STILL FEEL GUILTY IF YOU WEREN'T
I'VE STARTLED YOU OUT OF WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING BEFORE ANYWAY
TAKING THE TIME TO GET BACK INTO IT WOULD JUST BE SILLY AT THIS POINT
AND DON'T PRETEND YOU WEREN'T "DONE" YET
YOU KNEW THIS WAS COMING, I SAW YOU GLANCING AT ME A MINUTE AGO

...

I INTIMIDATE YOU WITH MY SILENCE
THE SILENCE IS JUDGING YOU
o.O

And that, my friends, is why I need to get my head checked don't find anything else quite as effective as kitchen timers.

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Lin

September 2013

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