faevii: (Default)
Reviews and meta posts always make me feel so stupid. :( Well, not exactly all of them, but still. It happens quite often that I get curious as to what other people might be saying about a film or a tv show that I have recently discovered, and then I search for opinions and end up feeling like a fool. What, the special effects were bad? I didn't notice. What, there were plotholes? I didn't notice. What, the entire story is a total cliché? I must have been unaware of that cliché.

That last example is actually from a face-to-face conversation with a friend from so many years ago that I don't even remember what it was about anymore, only that it bothered me.

Of course, being unaware of clichés is an entirely different matter than being stupid. I really shouldn't feel bad about not recognising recurring themes in pop culture because until a few years ago I was a lot like Bones in this regard: always the only person in the room who Had Not Seen That Film. ("I don't know what that means!") I've been catching up since then, largely thanks to other people, but I promise that you still wouldn't believe the things I'm not familiar with.

It's not just that, though. I simply don't seem to be capable of any sort of in-depth analysis. Aside from certain pet peeves that I always notice because they can't not annoy me, I never even see what others describe as glaring errors. Also great: when everyone's saying that something was completely predictable, yet it took me by surprise. Or that Inception was easy to follow. Thanks.

I do recognise, barely, that Torchwood and Merlin are not exactly deep. That's about as smart as I get with these things. Perhaps it's because whenever I see magic or aliens or dragons or The Future™, my brain goes "OOOHH, SHINY!" and ceases to function. But that's just a theory. ;)

Oh gods do I even want to post this? Well, it would certainly be a waste not to.

Ambitions

Sunday, October 3rd, 2010 04:27 pm
faevii: (Default)
Having a totally random moment of "Fuck, lots of people out there who aren't me have things like work experience and an education." And I mean that in the sense of wanting the experience, not feeling inferior or anything. Which is weird because I don't even remember the last time I had a thought like that. I guess I was distracted by all the stuff I learned through the internet? And too busy fighting off other problems to really pay attention to what I might be missing out on, of course.

I love learning. If I hadn't enjoyed going to school so much, I wouldn't have made half the effort I did to stay in it. Even when I realised that I hadn't attended a single chemistry lesson for a month* and the only reason why I wasn't failing everything yet was that the teachers felt sorry for me, I still made an effort. I still dragged myself to school two or three days a week and spent the others sitting at home being miserable because I wanted to go.

Several people I had almost forgotten about added me on Facebook recently. Usually I feel slightly embarrassed when they ask me what I've been up to because it's very hard to answer that without coming across as either trying to garner sympathy or being a total loser.

Today all I feel is envy.

I always wanted to attend a university one day. Never really got around to deciding what exactly I'd like to study, but there were so many things I considered. So much knowledge. I wanted to find out more about anything and everything. I wanted to find cures for diseases and invent things and become a translator or possibly a lawyer. Money was always on the back of my mind, a chronic fear that I wouldn't be able to get a good job without further education, but my main motivation was still curiosity.

... I'm starting to sound like a certain fictional character here. Yikes.

Anyway, the point is that I'm suddenly all jealous of People Who Know Things. Ever since I made the choice to get my own place, I've had this secret plan to spend most of my free time reading books on whichever random subjects that interest me I'll be able to find in the library once I've moved out. And finally teaching myself how to draw properly. It's a bit silly because I feel like I'm once again waiting for some Big Change to happen before I can start doing what I want to, but I really don't have the energy, patience or money to do much right now and I'm reasonably sure that most of that will change.

*And it was one of my favourite subjects, too. For a while we only had chemistry on Wednesdays and during that month my worst days always happened to be Wednesdays. Yes, I'm still bitter about it. Fucking Wednesdays.
faevii: (in the name of justice)
OMG, why oh why did somebody link me to this terrible failboat of a comment thread? Aaahh!!

I don't expect any of you to read it, or much of it. I'm just including the link to explain where this sudden bout of outrage is coming from.

Honestly, people of the world - when you complain about having to listen to a child cry, ZOMG, does it not occur to you that you might be talking about A SAD, SCARED OR OTHERWISE SUFFERING PERSON?? If you, yourself, have never broken down crying in public, good for you. It has happened to me. I was 21. I AM NOT FREAKING SORRY. Same for children who are outright screaming: I have screamed when I was in pain, but luckily I was not in public at the time. If I had been, would you have felt annoyed or concerned??

Sure, children are way more likely than adults to scream instead of crying silently. Children also, occasionally, cry or scream for silly reasons. Does that mean the one child you saw on the bus the other day was definitely not in pain or scared? Nope. So STFU.

Also, adults are loud sometimes. Adults are rude sometimes. Nobody's saying that loud people (young or old) shouldn't be asked to leave if they're disturbing the athmosphere of a library or a fancy restaurant. But you can't tell these people (young or old) from others before they enter, so if you want to keep all children out of libraries and fancy restaurants, you're not only discriminating against quiet children, but you're also doing nothing to protect yourself from loud adults. Likewise, nobody's saying that rude people (young or old) can't ruin your evening out and that you should simply learn to tolerate them better. But when mothers are upset because they feel like they can't go anywhere unless they leave their children with a babysitter, the right course of action is NOT to point out that a kid poured wine on your shirt once.

What I'm seeing there reminds me of the time I made a post that was essentially about being nicer to people who aren't very intelligent, and hilariously some of the comments were like, "OMG you want stupid people to be surgeons!" or "OMG you're a socialist - well guess what, there'd be no place for stupid people in a socialist society either!!" o_O All I wanted was to question the prevalent attitude that it's completely okay to make fun of people for being "stupid" and that someone who doesn't have the skills to take on a higher-paying job totally "deserves" to be poor. I don't know what my IQ is, but I didn't pick it on purpose. I didn't choose to be good at mathematics, physics and languages, either. It just happened. Am I supposed to feel superior due to this stroke of luck or something?

As a matter of fact, I don't want intelligent people with atrocious fine motor skills to become surgeons, either. That's not discrimination, that just MAKES SENSE. But if you had to be a surgeon in order to not be poor and I said, "Well, your fine motor skills suck, so what's it to me if you're struggling to survive!" - that would be quite unfair.

(Also, I'm not a socialist. Just for the record. Nice try though.)

I don't know why this happens. I don't know why, if someone nicely suggests that we be a little nicer to children, people get all up in arms about it, either. Nobody's asking you to NOT BE ANNOYED by stupid people or children - or stupid children, for that matter (lulz, ain't I funny). Just, how about not glaring at them before they've even done anything. How about considering that they might have feelings. How about trying to imagine how frustrating it can be to be a child (or to be considered stupid). How about reprimanding people for concrete actions instead of judging them in advance. Is that rocket science?

When I see a crying child, I wonder WHY. You'd think I was some sort of freak.

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Lin

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