Names, Names, Names

Thursday, July 14th, 2011 02:49 am
faevii: (Default)
A sudden realisation: I've grown rather attached to the name Lin by now. Like, I automatically feel spoken to when I see those three letters somewhere ... which is actually quite funny because most often that happens when they're part of either "Merlin" or "Colin" and the first half is obscured or something, ahem.

I feel I need to state that, for the record, I did not plan this. :P The only way in which that little fact influenced my decision at all was that it gave me some more confidence in my choice because it seemed to make the name, well, cooler. Also, I like the whole idea that my mother might have named me Merlin if I'd been born male. I still doubt that she actually would have gone through with it, but then again ... this is my mother we're talking about. o.O I would have hated her for it, of course. Now I can safely appreciate this information instead and use it to justify my inexplicable attachment to the letters L, I and N.

Oh dear, I wrote ALL THE WORDS. Again. )

In spite of my doubts, however, I have become used to being Lin. And very occasionally I forget, just for a split second, that there was ever a choice involved at all. I see it and react the same way as I imagine anyone would upon seeing their given name somewhere. That feels amazing because it's been a very long time since I reacted positively to seeing my "real" name.

Now I only need to start asking people to actually call me that. Sigh. And don't get me started on how I feel about my last name ...
faevii: (thoughtful rosencrantz)
Three days since my last post, when did that happen?? Okay, more like two and a few hours, but I'm still not sure where all that time went. I, uh ... did ... nothing? Except for talking to people and watching Merlin, it seems. Well, and witnessing Timo being adorable. :)

Anyway, I thought about the name thing a lot and eventually decided that I'm going to stick with Lin for the time being. All through yesterday I was suddenly very unsure about it, but it was mostly because I feared that other people wouldn't find it gender-neutral enough and not because I had any problems with the name itself. Then, today, the following quote (attributed to Steve Jobs) appeared on my Tumblr dashboard:
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
I felt mildly creeped out for a moment because it practically seemed to be directed at me. But of course, the person who posted it doesn't even know me. I concluded that this was clearly a sign and promptly changed my name to Lin everywhere. :D

I'm not certain I won't change my mind about it one day, but for the time being it feels good to have a name. I mean, it's not just a name change; I honestly feel like I've been completely nameless for years. Deciding how to sign letters and cards to anyone other than my family was always a huge struggle.

Daniel demonstrated his mind-boggling ability to read me like a book once more and guessed exactly what was going on soon after I'd innocently asked him whether he thought that Lin sounded male or female. I ended up telling him the entire story including my doubts and fears and he didn't act as if it was weird at all, which reminded me of ... better times. I'm glad I don't have to worry about that, at least.

Hi, I'm Lin. Nice to meet you.
faevii: (quing arthur)
Sooo ... the name Lin is really growing on me. Like, a lot. I'm basically just holding myself back out of cautiousness before I instruct everyone to call me that only to discover that I've overlooked an important reason why I shouldn't. It's not easy because I finally want to get rid of that "Tja" I've put on my profiles everywhere!

According to this website that I discovered while googling it, Baby Name Guesser, Lin is slightly more likely to be a female name while Linn is slightly more likely to be a male name. That sounds wrong to me, LOL. I don't like Lyn and Lynn as much, but I googled those as well to compare. Name directories often only list one or two out of the four variations and their categorisations are all over the place. Some say one is unisex and the other gendered, some say the opposite etc., and Lin is unique in that it's also a Chinese surname, apparently.

I asked Daniel, who could obviously not hear the spelling, whether the name made him think of a man or a woman, and his answer was delightfully undecided.

Names that Lin could theoretically be short for:

- Linda
- Linden
- Lincoln
- Lindsay
- Lindley
- Lindy
- Linette

Pretty equal distribution of both genders there, too. I think if anyone asked, I would tell them it was short for Lindworm. ;)

Possible meanings of Lin, Linn, Lyn or Lynn include:

- soft
- flax
- forest
- fine jade
- ruddy-complected (??)
- sun goddess
- linden tree
- waterfall
- swamp
- tench
- lake

Not too bad, I guess ...

Did I miss anything? Does half the world think it's definitely, undeniably female? Help! Augh, patience, where do I get some. -.-


faevii: (Default)

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