Luck & Chance

Wednesday, May 8th, 2013 09:26 pm
faevii: (ye shall not eff me)
Hey look, it's me again. I'm actually spending the night at home today, not posting by email.

So, remember when I (relatively) recently mentioned an older post of mine and said, "I just went looking for that post, but only found the last time I mentioned not being able to find it"?? Well, the other day I totally accidentally stumbled across the very post I was referring to. IMAGINE THAT. I originally just wanted to make sure I was correctly remembering in which year I moved out, but then I found some of the stuff that I wrote at the time so entertaining that I kept clicking the "next post" arrow. And then suddenly, there it was!

Speaking of stumbling upon things, I know this is going to sound ridiculous but I've been finding cents on the ground (or elsewhere) with such regularity that I honestly feel like I'm being sent a message or something. The first two were on consecutive days. Then I made a joke on Twitter like "Can't it be an euro next time?" and it promptly didn't happen again for quite a while. The third time was yesterday. I felt like my punishment for the comment (or possibly for something else but I don't want to talk about that) was over and I'd been given another chance. (At what? I don't even know. What do I expect this to end in?!) So I tried very hard not to think any thoughts that might jinx it again, and here's the best part: Guess what I found today? A freaking five-cent coin, that's what. Yeah. If nothing happens tomorrow I am going to be very sad ... but wait, I shouldn't have said, that, should I?? >_<

Sudden superstitiousness aside (ha, as if I hadn't always had a tendency to see ~signs~ everywhere), I've been feeling pretty good and even my last conversation with the hospital doctor was mostly constructive. She said she'd have to talk to her boss before putting me back on Cymbalta, but sounded optimistic about it. So I'll hopefully be almost pain-free again soon, and if I don't react unexpectedly to the new combination of meds, I'll be able to leave. Hooray. :) I'm still working on non-pharmaceutical ways to promote better sleep, though.

Also I have changed my journal title and subtitle because of reasons. (They're song lyrics again now. AWOLNATION, Soul Wars. One of my favourite songs at the moment.)

blah bluh glub

Friday, February 17th, 2012 11:31 am
faevii: (ye shall not eff me)
A recap of things I have learned since my decision to go to that hospital in Hamburg:

- it's where my father used to work
- our old house is directly next to the hospital grounds
- that entire street was in fact reserved for employees at the time
- the ward is not just for women after all
- I'll actually be surrounded by people with similar problems for once
- getting there by train is a lot less expensive than I thought
- it doesn't take as long as I thought, either
- my mother's workplace is only 5 minutes from there by car
- there's a McDonald's nearby
- McDonald's sells cupcakes
- I really want to try some freaking cupcakes

(What?? CUPCAKES. :P Inspired by the realisation that they used to be practically unheard of in Germany until a few years ago and even now they're still tricky to acquire. My research also brought up an actual cupcake bakery in Hamburg, but sadly it's in a completely different area and kind of hard to get to via public transport. Quite close to where I used to attend group therapy, though! And it already existed back then. D: If I had but known ...)

So basically what's happening here is that I'm starting to think of the whole thing as this big adventure - against my own better judgement. Hmmm. The preparations aren't going very well, but at least my MP3 player is ready now. That's a start.
faevii: "I sacrificed a bathtub for this!" (sacrifice)
Good news! I just got back from the hospital. Lots of surprises there - for one thing, Mrs D was completely wrong about the ward in question being only for women. Which is great, even though I suppose it could have made for an interesting exercise in self-observation under unusual circumstances. :P The doctor I spoke with seemed nice and did not act as though I'd just described some of the strangest symptoms in human history, which gave me a little hope.

The biggest surprise, however, was when he said that I might be admitted as early as one or two weeks from now! I still haven't finished adjusting to this unexpected turn of events. Since I'm going to see Timo on the 14th - more good news, yay - I asked them to note down that I didn't want to come until the 15th, but of course this doesn't mean that it's going to be that exact date. Maybe a day later, maybe a week later. I don't know, but I'll try to be more or less ready by then.

My night, on the other hand, really was a load of crap. At one point I had this extremely confusing dream in which I dreamed that I managed to deliberately wake myself up from a nightmare, which would have been amazing if it had been real! But nope, the scenario that I "woke up" to was merely yet another dream. :| Incidentally, the nightmare somehow involved Sam and Dean Winchester. And werewolves, but not like the ones from Supernatural. Honestly, my fandom dreams are never any fun ...

When my alarm rang, I turned it off, turned on the light and accidentally fell asleep again. Whoops. Fortunately it was only for 15 minutes.

Getting to the hospital and back was quite the journey because A first drove me to Mrs D's office, where we switched cars and Mrs D drove us the rest of the way, being the only person who actually knew how to get there. Now, Hamburg is pretty far off even without such interruptions, so all in all I was out there for four freaking hours. Wow. Not sure how much of that was spent waiting, though.

Once I knew that the whole thing was going to happen unexpectedly soon, it suddenly hit me that I would in fact be stuck in Hamburg for several weeks. The thought makes me a tad nervous, but then again, you know what's funny? The hospital is right in the neighbourhood of where I used to live as a baby. In fact I think it might be where my father used to work! And our old house might be within walking distance, so I could try to figure out how to get there. In case I get bored or something. Just to see if it still stands ... and if it's still uninhabited, rotting away like the last time I went to have a look.

Overall, I'm pretty excited. But also, uh, wow. WHERE DO I EVEN START.
faevii: (ye shall not eff me)
I saw this nice-looking "Christmas tree" candle holder today that was relatively big and not that expensive - why didn't I buy it?! I've wanted something like that for years because I am kind of against killing trees just to decorate your living room with them temporarily. Okay, technically what I had in mind was still a bit bigger, but you have to take what you can get, right? Silly me, deciding to be reasonable and save money even with something like that in front of my nose.

Anyway, this morning was a bit weird because for a while it was basically an exact reenactment of Friday morning. Both times I'd deliberately stayed awake two nights before, both times I'd gone to bed in the afternoon and nearly overslept regardless, both times I practically jumped out of bed and straight into the shower instead of eating breakfast first as I usually do ... and so on. Then A picked me up to drive me to the ALDI market in another town; ours is currently being rebuilt and therefore closed. Which is impractical because I normally buy a lot of things there.

So she helped me out with that and afterwards I quickly popped inside the store directly next to it as well, which incidentally happens to be the one I always went to during my hospital stay; the one selling all of those amazing, lactose-free and gluten-free things. I finally caved and bought some bread. BREAD. BREEEAADD. *___* (Also incidentally, and this is funny, I ended up there on Friday, too - that time I just didn't have enough money for gluten-free bread with me. I had no idea I'd remain such a regular customer even after going back home!)

Come to think of it, it's kind of ironic that I resisted a thing I'd wanted for years only to buy some expensive freaking food. -_-
faevii: (what is this i don't even)
I just watched Thor, the movie, and now I'm confused. See, I know that at some point a long time ago, I was a little more well-versed in Norse Mythology than today. I've forgotten nearly everything, but I do remember some of my reactions to it, so when my very vague personal headcanon told me that Loki was not supposed to be a Frost Giant foundling, I naturally had to google this. I expected to find that, I don't know, maybe in some versions of the story he is related to Odin and in some he is not, but instead it seems that he pretty much never is. But ... I don't understand. Then WTF did I read or hear as a child that left me with such a wrong impression?!

It bothers me that I have no idea where this information in my head comes from. It's a lot like that time when I tried to remember why I was so familiar with the name Anders, but all I got was a weird flashback to what it felt like to be a child. And why's it always Nordic things?? I almost want to assume that these incidents are related. But that would be silly, wouldn't it? Why would I have some sort of dark secret involving mythology and children's stories that erased itself from my memory?! Nonsense. >.<

You know, this is actually a problem that I have a lot; remembering my own reactions to something much more clearly than the something itself. In this case I just know that I sort of tried to dislike Loki because he did several things that were too evil for my liking, but secretly he was always my favourite. And my conflicted feelings were defined by the idea that he was a member of the godly family and changed, rather than being an entirely different race to begin with. That's why that bit stuck with me, because it influenced my opinion of him. The actual story, though? Not a clue. And where did I hear it? Or when, for that matter? I just ... don't know.

I suspect I may have said the same thing last time (can't find the post anymore), but this is going to bother me for a while. :|

OMG U GUISE

Friday, November 5th, 2010 10:20 pm
faevii: (happiness)
INCEPTION!!! D:

... I am tempted to leave it at that.



Heh. So. Internets, I know what you speak of now. As of today I am finally familiar with this movie, and I have to say ... despite its popularity, I still hadn't expected to enjoy it that much. Maybe that's just me being overly excitable again, but I don't even care.

I was prepared for an interesting plot and the possibility of very likeable characters. I was not quite prepared to be rendered speechless. And that's although I watched the German dub without subtitles and basically didn't understand a single word that Saito said ...

Also, my poor brain had to work very hard. I estimate that I will have to rewatch it approximately three times to fully understand every scene. XD From now on in English though. With subtitles.

This is not exactly a proper review, is it? But then, my "reviews" never really are.

Funnily enough, I had an inexplicable urge to keep my hands busy before we started watching, so I grabbed one of my dice, which just happened to be red (but 20-sided), and fiddled with it throughout the movie. Those who have seen it will know why I felt mildly creeped out a few minutes in, ahaha. o.O

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Lin

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