faevii: (slice of brain)
Oh my goodness. My entire life has acquired a distinct Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead theme lately. It's funny and sad and absurd on so many levels at once that I couldn't possibly put it into words. (Yet I predict that I'll try soon enough.) Also, the soundtrack currently consists almost exclusively of Kasabian's "Goodbye Kiss" and a Red Hot Chili Peppers b-side called "Funny Face" - as well as "The Crushing of the Little People" by Sucioperro when I'm angry, but that's nothing new (it's just so satisfying to hear someone sing "fuck you, don't dare think I'll take your shit again" when you're pissed off).

Now, as for those news. I've decided to risk going on vacation with my family regardless of my presently somewhat unstable condition, seeing as I would have had to go on "therapy break" soon anyway and I might as well make the most use of it that I can. Also, things happened and what is even the point of going back anymore, or of anything, oh gods I can't think I shouldn't be writing-

WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY. Is this. Vacation: one week in Denmark. Monday nine days from now until Sunday. Therapy break: two weeks sort of surrounding that one week. From the Wednesday that's coming up until either exactly two weeks later or maybe a few more days if there are no free beds then. Which means I'll

lol DENMARK

I only just realised


... Does anyone even care? Basically I'll be back for a few days, gone for a week, back for a few more days and then gone again. And my brain won't let me finish sentences, so whatever.

GODS.
faevii: (slice of brain)
What if it's simply a really weird case of OCD and nothing else??

This suspicion has been sneaking up on me ever since I had to describe my problem to someone again on Tuesday and said, "You've got no idea how much effort it took me to put on the black jacket instead of the grey one this morning and how terrible I felt for a few minutes after I'd done it." And I kept smiling embarrassedly because I knew that what I was saying must sound completely ridiculous, so eventually I was asked, "But you experience these thoughts and actions as nonsensical? I mean, you're laughing about them now." At the time I assumed, since I hadn't made the OCD connection yet, that she just wanted to know how serious my symptoms were, so I found it necessary to point out that I'd only been aware of all this for five years although I had already acted the same way for much longer without realising it. But now that I'm reading up on OCD yet again, it seems more likely that she was trying to figure out whether that could be my diagnosis.

I always knew I had obsessive-compulsive tendencies, but it never occured to me before that my "other" symptoms could be part of that. o.O
faevii: (Default)
Excuse me, I'm on a personality test rampage. I've always wanted to do one of those, but somehow never did:

Click to view my Personality Profile page

I LOL'd. Note that I scored so low on "interpersonal" (not to be confused with "intrapersonal") that it's NOT EVEN ON THERE. XD (20%, as the full results page informed me.) I may not approve of IQ tests, but this is awesome. And hilarious. At least if you consider that it basically appears to be saying, "I like WORDS and NUMBERS and MUSIC and MYSELF ... oh, and also pretty things and nature and movement. Other people? What's that? Can you eat it? How does it work??"

But then you've got the "personality type" tests that will tell you I'm very nice, peaceful, loyal, caring and so on. Which sums up all of my problems with human interaction, really. I care almost too much, I'm just crap at expressing it.

(And evidently I enjoy interpreting meaningless internet tests in such a way that they seem to explain my entire life.)

I have decided, by the way, that my personality type is I[joker][joker][joker]. Honestly, nothing but the I ever stays the same for long and it even makes sense. As I just mentioned on Tumblr, where I for some reason decided to post one of the other tests I did, I've been through almost every single type-starting-with-an-I in existence. If the results are displayed as percentages, everything but the I is usually close to the 50% mark. At the moment ISFP feels right, but so did INTJ at some point in time!

... I feel like one of those characters in RPGs who are moderately good at everything, but don't really excel at anything, so you can make use of them in any situation if you have to, but will probably switch them out for someone else eventually. >.< A jack of all trades - I've always liked that phrase.

Maybe this even explains why I have managed to "accidentally imitate" such vastly different people without realising it. If you start out in the middle, you never have to stray that far. IDK. Why am I even still awake.

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faevii: (Default)
Lin

September 2013

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