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Yet More Confusion
Aug. 14th, 2011 09:39 pmLately I keep thinking that I don't have any time, which makes no sense whatsoever. I don't have a job, I only leave the house about twice a week and I rarely do more than an hour of housework in one day ... how could I possibly have anything but time?!
I just sort of ... don't pay attention for a moment and the day is over. I want to finish season 6 of Supernatural already so I can move on to a different show, but I never seem to get a chance. My much-discussed Plan™ isn't helping so far, either. It's almost finished and contains a lot of useful ideas, but ... I'm having trouble identifying the exact nature of this problem, so I can't very well put any solutions for that on it.
It's not that I lack motivation. On the rare occasion that I realise I should be doing something, I actually don't find it too hard to immediately get up and do it. I just don't really know what's going on most of the time. I'm not ... present. It's very hard to figure out what would be a good thing to do next. If I turned off the computer right now so as to be able to concentrate on the question better, I'd probably stare off into space for a minute and then go wash some more dishes. Then I'd be satisfied that I'd done something useful and turn the computer back on. It's all I seem to do these days - computer, dishes, computer, dishes, computer.
Sometimes I prepare myself for watching Supernatural, for example by plugging in my headphones, and I still don't do it. I don't even know why because I don't remember what it was that distracted me each time. It's just that one or two days later I suddenly go, "Oh. Right. I wanted to do that. Why didn't I?"
... dude, I think I need a manager. I'm like those people who are on tour or something and never know what day it is or where they are.
I just sort of ... don't pay attention for a moment and the day is over. I want to finish season 6 of Supernatural already so I can move on to a different show, but I never seem to get a chance. My much-discussed Plan™ isn't helping so far, either. It's almost finished and contains a lot of useful ideas, but ... I'm having trouble identifying the exact nature of this problem, so I can't very well put any solutions for that on it.
It's not that I lack motivation. On the rare occasion that I realise I should be doing something, I actually don't find it too hard to immediately get up and do it. I just don't really know what's going on most of the time. I'm not ... present. It's very hard to figure out what would be a good thing to do next. If I turned off the computer right now so as to be able to concentrate on the question better, I'd probably stare off into space for a minute and then go wash some more dishes. Then I'd be satisfied that I'd done something useful and turn the computer back on. It's all I seem to do these days - computer, dishes, computer, dishes, computer.
Sometimes I prepare myself for watching Supernatural, for example by plugging in my headphones, and I still don't do it. I don't even know why because I don't remember what it was that distracted me each time. It's just that one or two days later I suddenly go, "Oh. Right. I wanted to do that. Why didn't I?"
... dude, I think I need a manager. I'm like those people who are on tour or something and never know what day it is or where they are.
