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"explain the art of your madness"
Oct. 22nd, 2011 05:19 amWhile I'm awake anyway, I figure I might as well get this unwritten post out of my system before it becomes obsolete like the last one. (Yeah. The one I kept alluding to in my subject lines. That happened.)
One day at the hospital, I spent several hours working on a diagram that was supposed to explain the relationships between my various symptoms, how they influenced each other and which belonged together as a group. I nearly gave up in frustration once or twice, but in the end I was quite proud of the result. I thought I had it all sorted.
When I look at that piece of paper now, I can only shake my head. This is a thing that happens to me on a frighteningly regular basis. Another example is my "level three craziness" tag, which I didn't feel the need to use for a while and then I forgot under which conditions exactly I used to do so. A few days ago I tried to figure this out by reading the entries that were already tagged with it, but I discovered that what had appeared to be a connected set of circumstances to me at the time was now nothing but a completely random assortment of unrelated things anymore. I still don't quite understand why I thought they were one big issue back then.
Today - er, I mean yesterday - as I was walking into town to get groceries, I spontaneously came up with a much simpler method of describing the mess in my head than that blasted diagram. I mean, I was surprised to find that I could suddenly keep track of everythingwithout having to resort to colour-coded categories and a complex arrangement of arrows. It's hardly more than a list now, really. :)
( Behind the cut follows, of course, the list. )
So that was that. I had to leave out the concentration thingie because I still don't have a clue what causes it. I'm not currently experiencing it, by the way - it just disappeared one day and hasn't returned since. Of course I can't concentrate well when I'm extremely tired, but the rest of the time I don't have much trouble anymore.
One day at the hospital, I spent several hours working on a diagram that was supposed to explain the relationships between my various symptoms, how they influenced each other and which belonged together as a group. I nearly gave up in frustration once or twice, but in the end I was quite proud of the result. I thought I had it all sorted.
When I look at that piece of paper now, I can only shake my head. This is a thing that happens to me on a frighteningly regular basis. Another example is my "level three craziness" tag, which I didn't feel the need to use for a while and then I forgot under which conditions exactly I used to do so. A few days ago I tried to figure this out by reading the entries that were already tagged with it, but I discovered that what had appeared to be a connected set of circumstances to me at the time was now nothing but a completely random assortment of unrelated things anymore. I still don't quite understand why I thought they were one big issue back then.
Today - er, I mean yesterday - as I was walking into town to get groceries, I spontaneously came up with a much simpler method of describing the mess in my head than that blasted diagram. I mean, I was surprised to find that I could suddenly keep track of everything
( Behind the cut follows, of course, the list. )
So that was that. I had to leave out the concentration thingie because I still don't have a clue what causes it. I'm not currently experiencing it, by the way - it just disappeared one day and hasn't returned since. Of course I can't concentrate well when I'm extremely tired, but the rest of the time I don't have much trouble anymore.
