After an improvised lunch, I'm feeling a little better. Couldn't sleep though, and for some reason my vision is all blurry. Please use this as an explanation for any mistakes or oddities I am about to commit. ;)

In general I do feel better, although it took a while to get there. During the first week they gave me a medication that did nothing, so by the end of it I was just about ready to punch myself in the face. Seriously, it was close. Imagine waking up to find that you've overslept, and then the shock of that just stays - while at the same time you're also freaking tired because you never manage to sleep enough. Constantly nervous and tired. Worst combo ever.

Fortunately the second med they tried helped with the sleeping, and after a few days a certain calming effect kicked in as well. In the meantime I sometimes took these mysterious little blue pills if I absolutely couldn't help myself anymore, which I was warned were addictive but didn't do anything other than calming me down pretty well. I stopped taking them as soon as the others started to work.

I'm not saying I'm perfectly fine now, however. I still get nervous a lot, I still can't concentrate on anything for more than ten minutes and I forget the strangest things. This morning I almost left without my jacket although it was raining, and what saved me was not that I remembered it in time, but that I discovered I had read the bus plan wrong and actually needed to wait for half an hour longer, for which I went back inside.

My doctor appears to be rather fascinated with me because he can't figure out what's going on. I may be weird, but I love it when that happens. I like confusing professionals just by being myself. :P

Oh man, there is so much more to say but I'd better stop here for the time being. Mostly because, well, concentration issues. And the blurry vision doesn't help.

Okay, here's the deal. One and a half hours from now, A is going to drive me to a hospital. There's no guarantee I'll get in. If I don't, I'll probably be back to complain about it later. If I do, I'll be gone for a while.

I have tried to set up a LoudTwitter account so a daily summary of my tweets would be posted here (of which there won't be that many while I'm away from home), but for some reason it refused to work. Now it's too late. So if anyone wants to know how I'm doing, your safest bet is my Twitter account. Comments will probably be noticed as I have instructed Gmail to always mark them as important so they appear at the top of the page, but I cannot reply to any actual emails. I've tried.

Of course, this is all based on the assumption that I'll be able to regularly leave the building in order to use my phone - or better, that they're not even forbidden in the psych ward. I hope I'm right about at least one of these.

There should also be a computer at which you can go online for a fee (unless they've removed it because they assume everyone has a netbook or laptop now, which I doubt), but I won't do that often. Maybe once a week, if that. And I don't know how long I'm going to stay in the first place. If they even let me in.

I'll start packing some basics now and if I still have enough time after that, I might even stop by the clothing discounter in town to make an emergency purchase. Oh, and the grocery for snack food. I hope that works out.

So this is my last post before I leave, or try to leave, as it were. I'm starting to get a bit nervous, but mostly it doesn't feel real. I don't really know what else to say and I need to hurry. Goodbye then. I hope something useful comes of this.