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The Fandom Problem
I think I just started to figure out what it is that keeps me from getting properly involved in fandom. That question has been bugging me for ages because it's certainly not a lack of interest: I want to get involved because I do get pretty excited about things and having people to talk to who share the sentiment would ne neat, really! Part of the problem is obviously that I don't have much to contribute, what with never having finished a single fanfic and appearing to have lost all my icon-making skillz - but that can't be the only reason, you know? I even suspect that if I did get involved somehow, I'd be way more inspired and eventually would end up finishing a fic. Interaction can do that to you.
One thing that's definitely holding me back is that I don't have the money to immediately buy each new album/book/DVD/etc. that comes out, so I regularly have to skip a lot of posts for fear of spoilers and by the time I finally catch up, everyone else's excitement has already passed. Well, with any luck that's going to change once I have my own place.
What I just realised is that I often feel left out for an entirely different reason as well though, and it has something to do with the fact that a large part of fandom is basically about sexual attraction. We look at pictures of our favourite characters/celebrities because we find them attractive, and what was the most popular fanfiction genre again? Right. Romance. Which some only read for the porn. :P That's all nice and well, but despite being utterly addicted to romantic fluff and picture-browsing myself, I often get the impression that what goes on in my head when I do these things is very, very different from other people's thoughts. The way they talk quite frankly disturbs me most of the time. I could never join a conversation that is all about how badly you wank to fuck that person, sorry.
Speaking of which, is it actually possible to get aroused just from looking at pictures of an attractive person?? I can never tell when people are joking. Especially when I'm too busy being disturbed.
Meta discussions never apply to me, either. I don't seem to have much in common with the average fan, the average female fan, the average female fan who likes slash ... or the typical representation of any other group that I'm technically a part of. It's quite frustrating. I always get the feeling that all those people who appear to be enjoying the same thing as I am are coming at it from such a different perspective that it's not really the same thing at all. How am I supposed to communicate with them under these conditions?
For some reason I was completely unaware of this problem until just now.
One thing that's definitely holding me back is that I don't have the money to immediately buy each new album/book/DVD/etc. that comes out, so I regularly have to skip a lot of posts for fear of spoilers and by the time I finally catch up, everyone else's excitement has already passed. Well, with any luck that's going to change once I have my own place.
What I just realised is that I often feel left out for an entirely different reason as well though, and it has something to do with the fact that a large part of fandom is basically about sexual attraction. We look at pictures of our favourite characters/celebrities because we find them attractive, and what was the most popular fanfiction genre again? Right. Romance. Which some only read for the porn. :P That's all nice and well, but despite being utterly addicted to romantic fluff and picture-browsing myself, I often get the impression that what goes on in my head when I do these things is very, very different from other people's thoughts. The way they talk quite frankly disturbs me most of the time. I could never join a conversation that is all about how badly you wank to fuck that person, sorry.
Speaking of which, is it actually possible to get aroused just from looking at pictures of an attractive person?? I can never tell when people are joking. Especially when I'm too busy being disturbed.
Meta discussions never apply to me, either. I don't seem to have much in common with the average fan, the average female fan, the average female fan who likes slash ... or the typical representation of any other group that I'm technically a part of. It's quite frustrating. I always get the feeling that all those people who appear to be enjoying the same thing as I am are coming at it from such a different perspective that it's not really the same thing at all. How am I supposed to communicate with them under these conditions?
For some reason I was completely unaware of this problem until just now.