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Finally.
There is a topic that I've been meaning to talk about for a while, but getting into writing mode has been difficult lately. The topic is ... romance, again, although I'm going for a different angle than last time.
One day while I was thinking about names, I suddenly started to wonder what would have happened if Daniel and I had managed to actually get married instead of just planning to do so and then never getting around to it. To my own surprise, I got this strong feeling that I wouldn't have regretted it, and then I thought, "You're not making sense. Married or not, you're not together anymore. How could you not regret a marriage that failed?!" But the feeling wouldn't budge, and my thoughts kept returning to how special our relationship was, how he's my best friend now ... and how nobody even batted an eyelash when I announced that he would always be family, as if that were a perfectly normal thing to say about one's ex. Evidently the unique nature of our connection is visible to other people, too. I still kind of think we were made for each other, just not in the way that we initially assumed.
Now, in Homestuck there is this alien race called trolls (yeah ... IKR) who have a much more complex idea of romance than us humans. I won't go into detail, but the gist of it is that there are four different types of romantic relationships, some of which actually appear to be platonic at first glance. One is similar to human romantic love, one is a kind of romantic hate, or rivalry (come to think of it, the "rivalmances" in Dragon Age II are a lot like this, too), the third could perhaps be compared to a romantic relationship between asexual people, and the last one - which is simultaneously the most complicated and the least interesting - is like a sexless, toned down version of the rivalry one. I'm sure you'll be relieved to find out that I only want to talk about one of these. :P
When I say "romantic relationship between asexual people", I mean that there is no sexual attraction involved. Some asexuals still like kissing, but in this case there is none of that, either. So what is it that makes these relationships romantic at all? At first I didn't get it. I also wasn't interested in "shipping" anyone that way because it seemed pointless - who fantasises about people being friends?? But then several things happened in short succession that changed my understanding of it.
One, I read the wiki description of this so-called "moirallegiance":
Two, someone on Tumblr wrote a post about "bromances" and their similarity to asexual partnerships, which blew my mind a bit. If you're at all interested, go on and take a look.
Three, I came across a fanfic that simply did a really good job of portraying a forming moirallegiance the way I understand it now, and to my own surprise it gave me the same kind of fuzzy feelings that I get from reading about first kisses and such. I mean, there was cuddling and hand-holding involved!
So all of these things put together kind of changed my internal definition of romance forever. I never would have expected that from a silly webcomic.
One day while I was thinking about names, I suddenly started to wonder what would have happened if Daniel and I had managed to actually get married instead of just planning to do so and then never getting around to it. To my own surprise, I got this strong feeling that I wouldn't have regretted it, and then I thought, "You're not making sense. Married or not, you're not together anymore. How could you not regret a marriage that failed?!" But the feeling wouldn't budge, and my thoughts kept returning to how special our relationship was, how he's my best friend now ... and how nobody even batted an eyelash when I announced that he would always be family, as if that were a perfectly normal thing to say about one's ex. Evidently the unique nature of our connection is visible to other people, too. I still kind of think we were made for each other, just not in the way that we initially assumed.
Now, in Homestuck there is this alien race called trolls (yeah ... IKR) who have a much more complex idea of romance than us humans. I won't go into detail, but the gist of it is that there are four different types of romantic relationships, some of which actually appear to be platonic at first glance. One is similar to human romantic love, one is a kind of romantic hate, or rivalry (come to think of it, the "rivalmances" in Dragon Age II are a lot like this, too), the third could perhaps be compared to a romantic relationship between asexual people, and the last one - which is simultaneously the most complicated and the least interesting - is like a sexless, toned down version of the rivalry one. I'm sure you'll be relieved to find out that I only want to talk about one of these. :P
When I say "romantic relationship between asexual people", I mean that there is no sexual attraction involved. Some asexuals still like kissing, but in this case there is none of that, either. So what is it that makes these relationships romantic at all? At first I didn't get it. I also wasn't interested in "shipping" anyone that way because it seemed pointless - who fantasises about people being friends?? But then several things happened in short succession that changed my understanding of it.
One, I read the wiki description of this so-called "moirallegiance":
Moirallegiance is a process that occurs between a troll and their "moirail" (also informally known as a PALEMATE). It is a form of guardianship, but it isn't simply about being platonic soul bros forever, see ANDREW'S COMMENT. A troll is compelled by fate to watch over their moirail and keep them in line. Despite the platonic appearance of this role (as we currently understand it) to us humans, trolls consider it a type of ROMANCE. [...]My immediate reaction: "OMG THIS IS ME AND DANIEL." (In reality that's not entirely accurate because trolls are a rather violent race and the emphasis in the above description should be on the "keep them in line" bit, but then again I actually do that sometimes. He has repeatedly stated that I have a calming effect on him.)
Moirallegiance is a portmanteau of "moira" (fated) and "allegiance." This kind of relationship may be most similar to the Greek concept of στοργή (STORGĒ), or "like family," which can be defined as "a desire to ensure the well-being of another."
Two, someone on Tumblr wrote a post about "bromances" and their similarity to asexual partnerships, which blew my mind a bit. If you're at all interested, go on and take a look.
Three, I came across a fanfic that simply did a really good job of portraying a forming moirallegiance the way I understand it now, and to my own surprise it gave me the same kind of fuzzy feelings that I get from reading about first kisses and such. I mean, there was cuddling and hand-holding involved!
So all of these things put together kind of changed my internal definition of romance forever. I never would have expected that from a silly webcomic.