Furniture & Gender

Saturday, July 30th, 2011 11:49 pm
faevii: "I sacrificed a bathtub for this!" (sacrifice)
So we went to IKEA and I got stuff. Yay! Now I only need to unpack all of these things and put them together ... as soon as someone can lend me the tools required for that. Daniel should have the basics, but anything that involves drilling holes into my walls might have to wait until my mother has time to help again. Well. Slow progress is still progress.

When we bought lunch, an employee thought I was a guy. Ha! :D I have no idea how that could have even happened, but it was awesome. Of course my mother immediately corrected her and then jokingly suggested that I should grow my hair long again ... I think she was even trying to reassure me, saying things like "It was only because you looked so serious while you tried to decide what to eat." Oh man. XD I should really find a way to inform her of all the many things that she doesn't know about me ...

This reminds me. A few weeks ago, while I didn't have internet, I walked past a group of teenage girls on my way into town. I got the feeling that they looked at me funny and braced myself for some sort of comment, but none came. At first. Once I'd gone past, I suddenly heard a voice shout after me, "Hey! Are you a boy or a girl?" I barely made it out of earshot before I burst out laughing. Haha. It was quite the puzzle, actually - few of my clothes look extremely feminine or anything, but none are completely unisex, either. You can always tell that they're from the women's department, at the very least. I sincerely doubted it was a genuine question; I figured they were probably just trying to annoy me.

Well, that plan certainly backfired. It made my day. XD

(The words "girl" and "boy" were another source of amusement, of course. Does everyone think I'm underage, or what?! Do I really look that young? Not that I mind.)

It's almost frightening how happy these things make me. I never thought they would, which is why I didn't purposely aim for that effect. If I did anything to make them happen, it wasn't a conscious effort at all. :S
faevii: (wtf anthony)
There was going to be a different post here, but then I decided I was entirely too tired to be allowed to write anything of substance, so I scrapped it.

Instead, I need to link you to this Tumblr post I made earlier. It went on Tumblr because that's where I saw the thing I was reacting to, but it totally deserves to be reposted here.

I call this "I accidentally my body" because I kind of love that meme ok

So basically it looks like I accidentally raised the level of testosterone in my body to the point where it actually had noticeable effects. Seriously, THOSE SKIN PROBLEMS HAVE BEEN PUZZLING THE HELL OUT OF ME. I was all, "Puberty what are you doing, I thought I had escaped this effect of yours the first time around, why have you come back to haunt me, this is not fair ..."

I knew it must have something to do with what I was eating, but I couldn't figure out how. And I cannot believe that it is even possible to achieve this with food alone (okay, plus better sleep and ... more exercise ... oh), but it also seemed kind of suspicious that my menstrual cycle spontaneously lengthened by a week at the exact same time. I was even considering seeing a doctor about it, but otoh I was also quite happy to have another "free" week each month ...

Guise, this is pretty much the most hilarious thing that has ever happened to me. THE IRONY OMG. Because you know what? While I had no internet, I sort of sat here wondering if such a thing was possible, annoyed that I couldn't research it. Just out of curiosity, mind. But curiosity killed the cat yadda yadda; I am not a cat, only the kind of person who at the age of 25 still does spontaneous kitchen experiments that possibly resemble alchemy more than cooking.

... I will be entirely, perfectly unable to resist testing how far this can go.

Names, Names, Names

Thursday, July 14th, 2011 02:49 am
faevii: (Default)
A sudden realisation: I've grown rather attached to the name Lin by now. Like, I automatically feel spoken to when I see those three letters somewhere ... which is actually quite funny because most often that happens when they're part of either "Merlin" or "Colin" and the first half is obscured or something, ahem.

I feel I need to state that, for the record, I did not plan this. :P The only way in which that little fact influenced my decision at all was that it gave me some more confidence in my choice because it seemed to make the name, well, cooler. Also, I like the whole idea that my mother might have named me Merlin if I'd been born male. I still doubt that she actually would have gone through with it, but then again ... this is my mother we're talking about. o.O I would have hated her for it, of course. Now I can safely appreciate this information instead and use it to justify my inexplicable attachment to the letters L, I and N.

Oh dear, I wrote ALL THE WORDS. Again. )

In spite of my doubts, however, I have become used to being Lin. And very occasionally I forget, just for a split second, that there was ever a choice involved at all. I see it and react the same way as I imagine anyone would upon seeing their given name somewhere. That feels amazing because it's been a very long time since I reacted positively to seeing my "real" name.

Now I only need to start asking people to actually call me that. Sigh. And don't get me started on how I feel about my last name ...
faevii: (quing arthur)
Sooo ... the name Lin is really growing on me. Like, a lot. I'm basically just holding myself back out of cautiousness before I instruct everyone to call me that only to discover that I've overlooked an important reason why I shouldn't. It's not easy because I finally want to get rid of that "Tja" I've put on my profiles everywhere!

According to this website that I discovered while googling it, Baby Name Guesser, Lin is slightly more likely to be a female name while Linn is slightly more likely to be a male name. That sounds wrong to me, LOL. I don't like Lyn and Lynn as much, but I googled those as well to compare. Name directories often only list one or two out of the four variations and their categorisations are all over the place. Some say one is unisex and the other gendered, some say the opposite etc., and Lin is unique in that it's also a Chinese surname, apparently.

I asked Daniel, who could obviously not hear the spelling, whether the name made him think of a man or a woman, and his answer was delightfully undecided.

Names that Lin could theoretically be short for:

- Linda
- Linden
- Lincoln
- Lindsay
- Lindley
- Lindy
- Linette

Pretty equal distribution of both genders there, too. I think if anyone asked, I would tell them it was short for Lindworm. ;)

Possible meanings of Lin, Linn, Lyn or Lynn include:

- soft
- flax
- forest
- fine jade
- ruddy-complected (??)
- sun goddess
- linden tree
- waterfall
- swamp
- tench
- lake

Not too bad, I guess ...

Did I miss anything? Does half the world think it's definitely, undeniably female? Help! Augh, patience, where do I get some. -.-
faevii: (colours and dreams)
I'm feeling unsafe today. I don't even have the vocabulary to explain my own existence, so I might as well not be real.

"I didn't know I spent several years in a relationship with someone who can't handle being around people like me," I said. A blank look. I don't understand. Since when have you been a part of the group I was just talking about?

I have no words. Not in the only language he speaks, anyway. But this is the country I'm in, this is the language I have to use to defend myself in critical situations. In this country, I don't exist.

Clearly you can handle being around me just fine, despite the fact that I am, in a way, exactly the type of person you seem to perceive as such a threat.

Oh, excuse me. How could I forget that I pass for normal? None of this is supposed to concern me, right? How silly of me to be offended when you were clearly not talking about me.

Sometimes if a duck neither looks like duck nor quacks like a duck, it'll still be alarmed when you announce your disapproval of the entire pond.


faevii: (Default)

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