Thursday, October 27th, 2011 05:57 pm
faevii: (creepy irish ninja cat)
A few days ago, a post about what it's like to be aromantic popped up on my Tumblr dashboard. I found it an interesting read because I am basically the opposite of aromantic. It's not just that I develop romantic attraction easily - I am also nearly incapable of loving people platonically. Once I cross that line between liking and loving someone, chances are I will instantly get a crush on them, too.

For the longest time I had so much trouble imagining platonic love that I came up with all kinds of strategies for it. I tried to compare it to loving a family member, but discovered that I didn't actually love* my family. I tried to think of friends that I had never fallen in love with, but only found a few that I hadn't loved at all. I wondered what it was like to be gay or straight, i.e. monosexual, and how a monosexual person might feel about friends of the gender they were not attracted to. It was impossible.

Several things have changed since then. For example, I am now familiar with the love between a parent and a child. I actually feel somewhat similarly about my siblings, too ... but I'm telling you, if they were my age? I'd probably be so unlucky as to fall in love with one of them. >_< Then there is the matter of Daniel. Our relationship is still complicated, but not awkward. I don't think it would be inaccurate to call him my best friend now. There is a small amount of romantic feelings left, I guess, but only the tiniest hint, and mostly he is family to me. Like a brother? Perhaps. I never understood that expression before.

So this is a new experience, and I think I may also be learning to love people more easily, which would increase the chances of some of that love being platonic. I still have that annoying tendency to find anyone and everyone attractive, though. I very nearly developed a crush on someone my mother's age at the hospital. o.O

It's kind of ironic that at the same time I am almost asexual. But lately I have been getting the impression that my entire existence is kind of ironic, so whatever. :D (Contradictions everywhere! I don't care.)

*Yeah, I know. I also have a post coming up that is mostly about what a weird child I was ...


faevii: (Default)

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