Year of Doom: NO

Tuesday, December 28th, 2010 02:05 pm
faevii: (happiness)
(It has been decided.)

Finally I feel like I can say something about this year. If anything is certain, it's that I will forever think of 2010 as the Year of Great Ups and Downs. There have been more of those than in 2006, even, and that's saying something.

Amazing things and amazingly bad things have continued to happen even in the short time since I posted that meme a few days ago. I'm sure that a large part of this is only the general fragility of my mental state at the moment, but I think I may have experienced every single emotion that a human being can feel during the last couple of days. Several times.

I am basically in awe just of how much seems to have happened, considering that I spent most of the year sitting in front of the computer as usual. It was magical, my friends. Effin' magical.

I met new people. I had random conversations with strangers. [personal profile] copperbadge promised to send me a dragon. :D (I keep trying to come up with something metaphorical that I can point at to say that it worked, but alas ...) Someone from Tumblr sent me an amazing Christmas card and a Mighty Boosh badge despite the fact that we hardly know each other. I acquired a name. Several things that had been somewhat "off" before just sort of slotted into place. I found a way to exercise without accidentally killing myself in the process. I finally found some inspiration again. There were adventures and mysteries and epiphanies. There were cosmic coincidences. There was lots of awesome music. There was lots of love. ♥

Also, this morning someone called me epic. I'm just saying. ;)

On the other hand, it was this year that I officially broke up with Daniel. I became lactose intolerant and none of the things that I did in an attempt to get better worked at all. Several times I was severely disappointed by people who were supposed to help me. We lost data because two harddrives spontaneously committed suicide within a short period of time. Daniel's family repeatedly caused trouble. I've been trying to move out for more than half a year and haven't had much luck with that. My fuck-I-need-a-name-for-this mysterious mental illness reached new heights of absurdity and I never managed to find a therapist.

But you know me. I couldn't dwell on the bad things if I tried. No matter how much shit life likes to throw at me, I get up and go on. I solve the mysteries. I slay the monsters - I mean, no, just kidding - I poke at the monsters and run until they accidentally impale themselves on something sharp that just happens to be lying around.

... Mostly I feel like this:

Merlin gif

(You know you've spent too much time on Tumblr when expressing yourself through random gifs seems perfectly normal all of a sudden.)
faevii: (Default)
Now let's see if all of this appears on LiveJournal as it's supposed to. :)

My week has been decidedly strange so far. Once again I am only sleeping every other night, which I find rather fascinating because it's been ages since the last time I even had the energy to pull that off, although I try not to think of it as a good thing. Me and unusual amounts of energy, that's always a sign of something bad going on behind the scenes - I don't think it has ever been anything else, no matter how often it caused other people to believe that I was making progress or finally getting a move on. Not that there's a chance of that happening now, mind you. All I do is sleep too little.

Somehow I did manage to send my sister a proper birthday card and some money, though. It arrived exactly on the right day, self-made origami envelope and all. That's the fifth sibling-birthday in a row I have not screwed up; one more to go and I'll have made it through two whole years. Baby steps.

My mother suddenly discovered that a woman she's known for quite some time has fibromyalgia, too. There is something very reassuring about the things she told me they've talked about, although I can't say what exactly. I guess for the most part I'm just relieved that this person appears to be a lot more like me than the people I met during my hospital stay last year. She allowed her to give me her number and even offered to take me along to a meeting of her support group sometime if I want to, which is really a great idea because it would make getting there so much easier. I hope I'll manage to make that phone call soon, somewhere inbetween the sleeping and not sleeping. Unfortunately I often feel like I've blinked once and a week went by unnoticed.


faevii: (Default)

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