Life is hard ... again ...

Tumblr is making me sad lately.

I used to love it because it seemed so uncomplicated: following someone didn't mean that you expected them to follow you back, random conversations between total strangers were perfectly normal ... and of course all of that is still the case, but now I keep seeing actual friendships evolve between people over there. Not that that's a bad thing, ha.

It's just that I can watch it happen, see how it happens, and then I find myself thinking one out of two things: a) I've had this type of conversation, too. Why didn't that ever lead to anything? b) I could never participate in conversations of that kind, so if it's those that draw people together ... then I'm doomed.

And I wish I could tell myself that it's "just a website", but it really isn't. It's the same thing that always happens, online and offline, no matter the situation. I've tried forcing it, making more small talk than I felt like, talking to people I wasn't sure I even liked, working up the courage to talk to people I feared found me boring or weird - and yes, I still mean both online and offline. It never ended well.

So now this familiar old problem has dared to follow me into the world of Tumblr and I am not amused. That was my happy place right there! >:(