![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Hello, 2012
Jan. 3rd, 2012 06:57 pmI'm not sure what to make of this year so far. On the one hand, I've been getting more stuff done during the last two days than during the last two weeks put together, including things that I should have done two months ago. Sounds like a positive development, right? But it isn't. Because on the other hand I can't get my thoughts in order and I only just slept for the first time since the fireworks. I was awake for two days straight, and for the second time in a row at that. (Er. I'm starting to sense a theme involving the number 2 here, haha.)
It's so strange. Just a few days ago I felt ... dumbed down. Trapped in my head. Almost defeated. Now I'm free and it's not actually better. It's like the difference between being buried alive under a desert and floating in space. I still can't focus on anything because I'm suddenly too far away instead of trapped. No more sand in my eyes, no more heat exhaustion, but what's the point in being able to see clearly if you only need to move your head a millimetre to the left and you're accidentally looking at a whole different country? Am I taking the space metaphor too far? :P But it's accurate. (And damn those clouds always getting in the way.)
I wonder what exactly is happening in my brain. Like, biologically. What does this jumping from thought to thought thing look like? I don't know enough about human physiology. Why did I always like chemistry better than biology back in school? Aside from genetics, that was fun. Perhaps because it's more logical than the rest of biology. I also liked physics better the more theoretical we got and found the practical applications boring. Radiation was a nice topic. I like looking at things on an atomic level ... zooming in, so to speak ... the tiny building blocks that everything's made of. Zoom in far enough and even lifeforms start to make logical sense.
Uhm ... did I just ... HAHAHA OH GODS. Speaking of jumping from thought to thought. >.<;
It's so strange. Just a few days ago I felt ... dumbed down. Trapped in my head. Almost defeated. Now I'm free and it's not actually better. It's like the difference between being buried alive under a desert and floating in space. I still can't focus on anything because I'm suddenly too far away instead of trapped. No more sand in my eyes, no more heat exhaustion, but what's the point in being able to see clearly if you only need to move your head a millimetre to the left and you're accidentally looking at a whole different country? Am I taking the space metaphor too far? :P But it's accurate. (And damn those clouds always getting in the way.)
I wonder what exactly is happening in my brain. Like, biologically. What does this jumping from thought to thought thing look like? I don't know enough about human physiology. Why did I always like chemistry better than biology back in school? Aside from genetics, that was fun. Perhaps because it's more logical than the rest of biology. I also liked physics better the more theoretical we got and found the practical applications boring. Radiation was a nice topic. I like looking at things on an atomic level ... zooming in, so to speak ... the tiny building blocks that everything's made of. Zoom in far enough and even lifeforms start to make logical sense.
Uhm ... did I just ... HAHAHA OH GODS. Speaking of jumping from thought to thought. >.<;
