SORCERY

Thursday, October 25th, 2012 04:24 pm
faevii: (an actual sentence)
I've had some success with the coffee-filled chocolates. :) Not sure if they're really necessary, but I figure as long as I've got them, I may as well make use of the placebo effect that knowing there's caffeine in my stomach brings with it.

The rest of my current strategy is as follows: 1) Place phone at the other end of the room. 2) Choose an annoying ringtone. 3) Before collapsing back into bed after turning off the alarm, pull up roller blind just far enough for a moderate amount of light to come in, but stop before people can see inside. 4) Prop up pillow against the wall. 5) Instead of fully lying down, assume a half-sitting position.

AND IT WORKS. :O

The light, the position and possibly the caffeine are enough to prevent me from falling asleep again, while the fact that I'm not completely upright prevents the agony that I normally feel during the first few minutes after waking up. I wonder what my life would have been like if I'd realised this years ago! It's such a simple system, but somehow I never hit upon this particular combination before.

Now I only need to stop going to bed so late. XD
faevii: (wtf anthony)
Guess what? I've discovered a whole new way for my insomnia to present itself! As if I needed another one. -_- But then, it's not even entirely useless ... I have to admit that I'm relatively happy with how this week's been going so far, compared to other possible outcomes.

Basically I got out of bed on Monday morning and haven't been in it again since. o.O During the first night I didn't sleep at all, although I dozed off for a short while in the morning (less than an hour), then yesterday an accidental chair nap of epic proportions happened (I'm not sure how long it was exactly, but I wouldn't be surprised if it amounted to almost as much as a full night's sleep) and today was kind of similar, I think, except this time I completely lost track.

So how can that be good? Well. For one thing, I got stuff done. Not much of the kind of stuff that requires thinking or going outside, but stuff like dishes and laundry and occasionally even a bit of cooking. I am also expecting an important phone call, obviously (since the 15th has passed), and I have no idea when that's going to happen. If it takes you until the morning to get tired enough to sleep, but you don't want to risk missing a call, then having the option to nap even on an uncomfortable chair can be quite the relief! At least if you're anything like me. >.<

Sometime today or yesterday I did get a call from A in the middle of a nap and I found talking much easier than if I'd been woken up from deeper sleep. Plus I loved that I could just turn back around and ... I don't know, this is actually quite hard to explain ...

I think the key difference is that I'm not making an effort to sleep as much as possible in one go. So it doesn't matter if I'm hungry or need to pee, I might as well nap for half an hour before I decide whether to do something about it. And then for another if the answer is "no" at the moment. There's also none of the commitment to being awake or asleep that comes with brushing one's teeth and changing in or out of pyjamas, therefore it's perfectly fine if I decide to sleep and then can't - I'll just raise my head back up and continue browsing the internet. Or go to the bathroom. Nothing needs to be done in any particular order, there are no calculations, the time of day is almost irrelevant and I can go directly from napping to doing something useful if I feel like it. Normally I never manage to get anything done during the first hour after waking up.

Of course this is not at all healthy, however, and I'm not planning to continue with it on purpose. Tonight I'll stay awake once again for a number of probably silly reasons, but after 8 am I won't allow myself to nap anymore so that I won't have any trouble falling asleep when I finally go to bed. Which will be early in case I end up sleeping for ages. <_< I wish I had a sofa or at least a more comfortable chair, though ... the discomfort may be part of the reason why this works, but it sure as hell can't be good for my back. Looking forward to getting some true rest tomorrow.
faevii: (ye shall not eff me)
- Shopping for towels and a harddrive and such will be done tomorrow, hopefully, aided by lots of tea because I completely forgot about this and slept in the middle of the day, so now I'll have to stay up all night and just ... pretend to still be awake in the morning.

- Clothes I have bought so far now also include a bra, three pairs of socks and a third set of season-appropriate pyjamas. That's the basics out of the way, I guess. If I run out of money or can't find anything else, at least the situation will only be mildly embarrassing.

- My membership of [livejournal.com profile] danielpix was never approved; I guess the second moderator isn't actively moderating it anymore. However, I contacted the person next in line after myself and they took over for me, which ... was very nice of them, but now I feel terribly awkward about all this and am kind of avoiding the community for no good reason. Er. It'll pass.

- I've been making an effort to eat as many iron-rich foods as possible while drinking lots of orange juice for vitamin C, and of course I have no idea if it's working, but I do feel less tired from time to time and that's great even if it might be a placebo effect or coincidence. Note that I said "from time to time", though. It's so far from optimal that yesterday I ended up with literally not a single clean plate left and almost no cutlery. >_<;

- In a surprise turn of events, I not only managed to get up to date with Sinfest and found the place in Sam's journal where I'd left off (from which point on I am now slowly catching up), I also read a few of Patrick Rothfuss's older posts and then decided to just stick with the new ones.

(While I was at it, I promptly started going through all of my RSS subscriptions to throw out anything that had the potential to feel more like work than fun, unsubscribed from several long-since finished comics, some dead blogs and a couple of duplicates, found the new feed of something that I'd never realised had stopped updating, and finally marked the rest as read after having a short look at the titles. I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW. You probably can't imagine it if you don't use a feed reader or keep yours very organised, but I'm so glad that no matter when I check it now, I can be certain that every new item will actually be of interest to me. And not in a "I wish I could look at this but I'm not up to date yet" way, either. "50 unread items" actually means "50 unread items" again instead of "There might be about 5 items to read here if you're lucky." Except it's unlikely to ever get to 50 in the first place.)
faevii: (slice of brain)
You know what's funny? Ever since I mentioned having trouble getting the dishes done in time, I've been kind of ... doing that obsessively every few hours, and now the only dirty item left is my frying pan. It was neither on purpose nor even vaguely inspired by talking about it - basically, it just happened. That's how I do a lot of things, anyway. At any given moment, chances are high that I'm asking myself, "Why am I doing this now??" I know I've said this before somewhere on the internet and it may even have been here: I feel like my own actions are often completely unpredictable and all I can do is wait for them to happen. :|

Anyway, I'm glad I got this done. I have no idea why I felt like it or why it was possible, but it sure is nice that I did it.

Another strange thing is that I didn't sleep during any of that time. I mean, I spent three hours repeatedly dozing off on my chair (WILL THAT EVER STOP), but I didn't get any real sleep and it's already been almost 24 hours since the dozing, too. I had to stay awake because I needed groceries, and afterwards ... I only became more and more awake instead of doing the logical thing and progressing from post-shopping exhaustion back to tiredness. Nope. I didn't really start feeling tired again until a few hours ago, at which point it was already too late to still go to bed. Well, I suppose I could have said "screw it" and done it anyway, but that would have made being awake tomorrow a little difficult and Daniel wants to stop by to discuss Important Stuff then. (Like, Timo stuff and Finally Getting My Files Back stuff.)

What a mess.

Okay then.

Thursday, December 8th, 2011 01:05 pm
faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
As you might have guessed based on my sudden three-day absence, things didn't go so well. Then again, there used to be a time when a suspicious lack of posts from yours truly actually meant that I was feeling better than usual. Hm.

To make a long story short, I couldn't trick my brain into complying with a reasonable sleep schedule no matter what I did and eventually got tired of suffering the consequences of trying. I'm not even properly disappointed, I just wish I hadn't wasted any money on those valerian capsules. :|

For two days I simply went to bed whenever I got tired enough, but today I decided to stay awake a little longer again (since yesterday afternoon). Doing household stuff suddenly seems a whole lot easier, which is just typical. Can't get a thing done while sleeping "normally", but sleep deprivation does the trick. There's some logic for you.

In other news, I've kept in regular contact with Daniel and he appears to be capable of holding himself together while not drunk, which is quite the relief. We've also made plans regarding Timo's Christmas present and he has agreed to spend Christmas with me and my family, so all's pretty cool on that front.

Now for the most exciting part, except I'm kidding: THE FREAKING TRASH CONTAINERS ARE BACK. I only discovered it early this morning, sneaking around in the dark of night again. That was also quite the relief. I remain puzzled as to why they were ever gone in the first place, but I guess I will never find out. XD I'm just glad I can take out my trash whenever I wish again.

Revelations

Sunday, December 4th, 2011 12:49 pm
faevii: (happiness)
Yesterday afternoon I had three good ideas. One was to call my mother and tell her about the Daniel situation (I apologise for the reference to a locked post in a public one), because she seemed like a safe person to talk to about it. I mean, he's probably never going to find out that I told her unless I admit it myself, so ... no harm done, right? I just needed to tell someone. We didn't continue our discussion from the last time we talked, but that was alright, too. It's still in the back of my head and I'm going to bring it up again sooner or later.

Incidentally, another of the ideas was related to that. I'd been unsure of what exactly to say to her and then it suddenly came to me. (This was before I called her, I think - or was it? I don't remember, but it wouldn't have made a difference. There wasn't enough time for both topics because she had stuff to do.) It's very simple: I am going to use the example that if you take two equally ambitious people and give them the exact same goal (which they are equally enthusiastic about) as well as the exact same obstacle to overcome in order to reach it, there is still a chance that one will succeed and one won't. Now, exchange the obstacle for a different one and maybe this time their roles will be reversed. Because it's not about motivation! People have unique strengths and weaknesses and if your problem happens to be something that you're bad at dealing with, it doesn't matter how much you want to overcome it. You will need time or help at the very least, if not both, and perhaps you'll have to change goals entirely. There. Try to argue with that. :P

(I get ridiculously excited when I discover a new way to explain something. I like to think of people who don't understand things as puzzles to solve. Getting closer to solving them is even more fun than finding the solution to an actual problem! Oh gods I just used my brain and it worked oh gods I can still be smart sometimes alert the fucking media I feel amazing oh gods.)

((This is exactly why my mother once suggested I become a lawyer.))

(((I do not wish to become a lawyer. I'd rather solve puzzles that don't involve arbitrary human-made laws, thanks.)))

third idea cut for overall post length; sleep schedule stuff )

So I set my alarm to 8, went to bed at 6, needed to hit the "snooze" button three times despite having slept for 14 hours, and finally crawled out of bed feeling terrible physically but extremely pleased with myself. :D
faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
Change of plans. I decided to spend some time getting stuff done instead of going to bed ridiculously early. It was probably a bad idea, but then again ... I hardly did a thing during the last two days, so there was catching up to do. I'm not sure I would have been able to handle that tomorrow, if my past reactions to sleeping "normally" are anything to go by. It always seems to make me feel like crap in the physical sense, to be honest. I can think more clearly and have less trouble writing, but don't ask me to get up from my chair! Ugh.

I'll just ... stay awake again and continue as planned tomorrow? Hopefully this time I won't fall asleep on my chair. How do I even do that all the time?! It's not exactly comfortable ...

One of the things that I did was to buy a lot of food. I decided that it was time to move on from being all tentative about gluten-containing stuff by now, even though I still wouldn't say I'm convinced that I can eat it. What if the whole dilemma with the debilitating stomach cramps and you don't want to know what else suddenly does start up again? What if it takes a month for that to happen? It's not impossible, so I remain skeptical. But for now I am going to eat normally and thus I found myself faced with an abundance of ~OPTIONS~ at the supermarket. It was so hard not to buy everything at once! Dairy, too. I mostly walked around with a kind of dazed smile on my face, staring at the shelves in amazement but unable to decide what to reacquaint myself with first. XD I guess I did all right in the end. There will be spagetti later!!

Something funny happened when I walked past the ice cream section. I didn't intend to buy any, but had a look anyway. I spotted a brand that I remembered to be relatively cheap but delicious, and suddenly I found myself missing Daniel a whole lot. o.O I guess we used to ... sort of bond over food? I secretly loved it when he unexpectedly brought home something unnecessary but awesome like ice cream, even though I wished he did it less often because of the money. I actually did the same thing myself when I was the one to do the shopping, though usually with cheaper items and not as many at a time. And then if we were lucky enough to get the chance, we'd sit down with our "special" food and watch a movie or something. It was quite nice.

Not that we couldn't still do this, especially now that my dietary restrictions are seemingly gone. We simply need to remember to meet up for such evenings from time to time. :) He's looking for a new place though; I hope he finds one in this town and doesn't have to move away ...

Reboot

Friday, December 2nd, 2011 01:15 pm
faevii: (ye shall not eff me)
Is this the part where I admit that my plan has failed? No, I refuse to do that. Instead, let's just say that my first attempt went wrong and I will have to start over. Nevertheless I'm a bit bummed that it happened as early as three days in. u_u

Sometime last night, I decided that I'd finally had enough of the noises that my bed was making, which I'd recently come to realise didn't actually continue when I was not in it anymore (I'm pretty sure that was the case at some point, though). So I pushed the bed into the middle of the room and placed the mattress on the floor in its usual spot. Then I went to the bathroom once more, drank some water and lay back down. I found it rather comfortable on the floor and listened to calming music for a while, plus you may remember that I'd been very tired to begin with - you'd think falling asleep should have been no problem, but then this is me we're talking about.

I gave up about two hours after I'd originally gone to bed. I suppose I could have only stayed awake for a limited time and then tried again, but in my tired and annoyed state I kind of forgot that was an option. Oops? (Well, I'm almost certain it wouldn't have worked, anyway.)

I will probably not be able to do a repeat performance of day one today, seeing as it's already 1 pm and I need to do a number of time-consuming things before I can go to bed. I don't think I'll manage all that within three hours. However, since I fell asleep on my chair this morning and thus did sleep a little, it may not actually be necessary to go to bed that early. I hope. I guess I could also set my alarm to 7 instead of 6. Haven't decided yet.

In any case I'll try again, whether that's another example of "doing the same thing over and over expecting different results" or not.

But whyyy ...

Thursday, December 1st, 2011 06:53 am
faevii: (broken spear)
Ugh, I just had a terrible night. I didn't miss these.

The only thing I remember somewhat clearly is thinking I might not be able to sleep because I felt so awake and my bed was making those blasted cracking noises again. I guess I must have fallen asleep pretty soon after all, but not for long. There was a lot of ... waking up. From bad dreams, for no apparent reason, from being cold, from being drenched in sweat, from pain ... or was the pain only what made going back to sleep so difficult that one time? I don't know. All I know is that the entire night freaking sucked.

If I hadn't been so fed up with lying there, I wouldn't have got out of bed when my alarm rang. Plan or no plan, I always lose my ability to think clearly in such situations. But I guess in a way I'm glad it happened because now I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be able to sleep easily tonight. I just have to make it through the day feeling very tired first. Blargh.

Also, everything hurts. That comes as no surprise.
faevii: (ye shall not eff me)
I have a Plan again. It was bound to happen eventually. It always happens.

Okay then.

Tonight I am going to stay awake. Tomorrow morning I'll buy a caffeinated beverage of some sort and, if the money I've got left in my purse turns out to be enough for those, valerian capsules.

Sometime in the afternoon I'll go to bed. Preferably at 4 pm, because then I would still wake up early even if I slept for more than 12 hours. I will place the drink on my beside table and set my alarm to 6 am just in case. 14 hours should really be enough, but if it feels like they weren't, that's what the caffeine is for.

Depending on whether I woke up closer to midnight or to the time of my alarm, I will decide how early to go to bed next. I'll take some valerian an hour before then whether I'll seem to need it or not - it's more to make sure that I'm going to be in the mood for sleep than anything else. (An idea that I had at the hospital.)

Rinse and repeat until I get to a number of hours slept that feels right, then pick an alarm time to stick with. That's it so far!

I didn't think I'd make another attempt at developing a proper sleep schedule anytime soon, but then I remembered that my meds were partly to blame for that ... and, well, I went off them a few days ago. I'd already been breaking the pills in half for weeks without feeling worse, so I figured I was better off without them.

I hope I won't be interrupted by some kind of weird, unforeseen event this time. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG??

Glorious Food

Saturday, November 26th, 2011 03:31 am
faevii: (happiness)
I have now officially consumed

- a moderate amount of butter
- quite a lot of nutella
- a small cup of yogurt

without complications. Wow. I still can't believe this is happening. There's another cup of yogurt in my fridge, but I forgot to check the list of ingredients when I bought it and have since discovered that it "may contain traces of gluten", so I won't eat that one until I've moved on to the gluten stage of my experiments.

I also have some chocolate, however. CHOCOLATE. Freaking Toblerone, even. I can't wait to try it, but I'd better eat something reasonable first so that I don't upset my stomach independently of lactose content.

In other news, I was awake for more than 40 hours and then only slept for seven, so uh ... I'm starting to feel a little dazed here. Better start cooking right this second or I'll never manage it.
faevii: (slice of brain)
My thoughts and feelings have been all over the place lately; I wouldn't even know where to start if I wanted to describe what's been going on in my head. Most of the time I was too confused by my body's sudden unpredictability in regards to sleep to pay attention to what was happening, anyway. I now know that part of the mess was likely my own fault due to taking my pills only sporadically, leading to either headaches or extreme tiredness depending on whether I took them that day or not, but that can't have been the only problem.

I wish I could sort out which perceived symptom was caused by what. It's probably impossible because everything overlaps and there is rarely just one answer, but I'm so fucking sick of being unable to tell how I should react to feeling sluggish and low on energy, for example. Is it physical fatigue? Do I need to take it easy for a day? Or is it a mental thing? Should I bite the bullet and force myself to do more than I feel like? How am I supposed to know??

What I've recently discovered is that even my actual muscle strength can vary greatly from day to day. Sure, I always knew that exercise was harder after I had slept badly and easier during a high energy phase, but I didn't know that these fluctuations could also happen randomly. Then I had an extremely good day and yet my arms were super weak. :| Also, one time I had no energy whatsoever and only wanted to exercise a tiny bit to relax my shoulders, but to my own surprise I did way more than I had planned, just because it was so easy. It's like, do I get any control over my own freaking life?!

But what troubles me the most is that there are things that I almost always lack the motivation for, and I don't know what this means. I'm talking about enjoyable things here, so it's not a matter of laziness, exactly. However it's too specific to be anything as general as depression, and I can't quite see how my OCD would have such an effect. It's more like my brain's been incorrectly programmed to view these things as harder to do or less fun than they actually are - how do I get around that?!

Okay, this post is made of questions. Have I mentioned that I'm confused?

(Dude. That's way too many tags for one post. What am I doing.)
faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
Oh look, it's a new day. An actual, new, separate day. LOL. I can't believe I seriously stayed awake for 55 hours! That's three freaking days, even if "three days" makes you think of 72 hours at first. I got up Wednesday morning (albeit late) and went to bed Friday evening. Three. Days.

Let's hope I never do that again, shall we? It was way too easy in the end. I mean, I didn't feel any more tired than I usually do after one sleepless night - I'd almost say less. I didn't even experience any of the more unpleasant effects that not sleeping occasionally has on me, such as muscle pain, swollen fingers or being extremely cold. I felt cold for a few hours once or twice, but that was it.

Today I've already been grocery shopping, which was urgently necessary - somehow I never manage to buy enough for an entire week. Just when I thought I'd done it, I ran out of milk and sugar! I don't think I'd ever run out of sugar while actually needing it for something before. This time I wanted to make peanut butter cookies and couldn't. Normally I also don't need milk all that often ...

My body was doing a sort of "say no to solid food" thing this morning. I mentally went through everything I had that I might eat for breakfast, but none of it felt right. What I really wanted was to drink a number of different beverages, especially chocolate milk, which I only ever buy to drink on the go because it's expensive and I don't want it that often. Basically it's my special treat for whenever I have reason to enter the one store in town that sells it, or when I'm having a "fuck this day, I'm buying ALL the food" moment.

I figured since I needed to get groceries anyway, I could just postpone breakfast until afterwards and calm my stomach with chocolate milk on the way. So I went straight to the aforementioned store, fought off waves of nausea until I got there and felt ridiculous standing in line with nothing but a small container of chocolate milk. I do ridiculous things for the sake of liquid food, apparently.

(My body actually does this on a regular basis. I can usually stomach yogurt or pudding then, but of course I didn't have any this morning. Now I do. Hee. Pudding.)
faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
I just wrote and then deleted this giant post about how I don't write as much as I'd like to anymore and how Tumblr is partly to blame for that, but then I realised what I was doing and it all sounded slightly too pathetic to be allowed to exist, so now you get this instead.

(It's not really Tumblr's fault. At least the pathetic things going on in my head are a little more complex than that.)

Basically what I wanted to get at is that I could do with some more structure in my life, which is to say any. Schedules and I don't mix very well, but there are other methods - I only have to pick one and try it out. Y'know, at some point in time when I'm significantly less tired than right now. -.-

(I had kind of hoped that I'd be able to metaphorically take some of the structure from the hospital home with me, by simply continuing to do things that I used to do there. It might even have worked if I hadn't concentrated on the sleep aspect too hard, but alas ...)

The trick is to remember that I mean to do this. I've got a strategically placed reminder for help, the rest is all crossed fingers and such.

Posts that are currently trapped in my brain: hopefully coming soon.
faevii: (broken spear)
I ... I just can't anymore. The last few days have been nothing but an endless struggle against tiredness. Either I forced myself out of bed early and felt like crap all day or I overslept until noon and also felt like crap all day. Then at night I either went to bed early and couldn't sleep yet (on the days when I'd overslept) or I did sleep but in the next morning I still didn't feel like I'd slept enough. Sometimes I also stayed up a little too late, which meant that by the time I finally got ready for bed, I felt so terrible that the thought of setting an alarm made me want to cry.

I'm pretty sure that this is only a side-effect of my meds rather than an unexpected depressive phase or anything. At the hospital it was less noticeable because I often went to bed extremely early out of boredom or because my roommate wanted to sleep, but it was still a problem. We were woken up at seven every morning and for several weeks I never managed to actually get out of bed until a quarter past eight, when a nurse made the rounds again to remind us that it was time for the first "event" of the day - a sort of quick little ... gathering ... where they informed us of changes in the day's schedule and such. It was quite an accomplishment if I so much as managed to brush my teeth before this! >.<

Near the end I had advanced so far that I could brush my teeth and do my hair, without even needing to hurry. Breakfast was still not an option, but I'd made progress.

Why can't I at least get back to that now? I suppose I'd have to go to bed at 8:45 for it to work, or something. That's ridiculous. I mean, I could also decide that 9 am is an acceptable time to set my alarm to, but then what if I get a doctor's appointment at 7:30? I'd have trouble falling asleep early enough for that because I wouldn't be used to it anymore. And the therapist I am currently trying to ask if she's taking new patients only accepts phone calls between 7 and 8 in the morning on Mondays and Wednesdays. This week I already missed both opportunities. I need to get up early ...

ARGH.

A Mystery

Sunday, September 4th, 2011 11:22 am
faevii: (what is this i don't even)
Just like last time, I slept terribly. This time there is a perfectly non-psychological explanation though: my bed creaks. And I don't mean when I move, I mean it creaks on its own. No idea why. It's not the first time that this happened, either - I remember the first time well because it took me a while to identify the source of the sound. I thought it might be coming from behind the wall or below the floor until I tested the bed theory by moving around in it to make it creak, and it sounded exactly the same.

So my bed creaks for no good reason. I don't even have to be in it, by the way. It just merrily continues creaking no matter where I am, at almost regular intervals. But only at night, that's the thing!! It has stopped by now. Maybe "creaking" isn't exactly the right word - it's more of a short crack, but "my bed cracks" sounds mildly alarming. LOL.

Maybe it's a humidity thing? That during the day the room gets a little damp because I usually let my laundry dry in there and the window is often open (it's rather humid outside at the moment)? Then at night I carry the clotheshorse into the living room, let some more air in and close the window. So maybe the bed starts to dry then and that causes the sound? I don't know, man.

I don't really have another place to let the laundry dry, though. The living room gets awfully cramped when I carry it in here, hence why I only do it before I go to bed. Of course, that could be solved by rearranging some things and making smarter piles (I still don't have enough storage options to put everything away), but I don't want to sit in a damp room all day, either! And what if this is not even the correct explanation?

My problems sometimes, guys. *shakes head*

Hospital, Part 2

Sunday, August 28th, 2011 09:24 am
faevii: (broken spear)
Ugh. I thought I was going to sleep so much better here at home, but instead the exact opposite happened. I'm guessing that's supposed to tell me something? Like maybe that this being alone thing bothers me after all or even scares me ... if only I weren't so bad with feelings. Have I mentioned that the doctor compared me to Spock? He seriously did. Another reason to start watching Star Trek ...

Apropos of nothing, I have been reading The Three Musketeers - in short bursts, of course, and I can't believe I'm not further along yet. The hospital has this small library for patients, which is basically a tiny, narrow room filled with way too many books for its size, so it's a good thing that it's usually only visited by one person at a time because more would make it crowded. XD (It also doesn't open more often than twice a week for a small number of hours.) I went in, took half a minute to find the adventure and fantasy sections, grabbed two books and checked them out. The nurse who was playing librarian then was quite surprised by my speed, but it all made sense - I'd been meaning to reread The Three Musketeers anyway and there it was, right before my eyes; then I discovered a Wolfgang Hohlbein book I didn't know yet. One quick look at the summary and yup, decision made.

The last time I read The Three Musketeers, I must have been around ten years old, so now it's almost new to me again ...

flrghlrgh

Thursday, August 4th, 2011 03:35 am
faevii: (an actual sentence)
Somebody please explain to me why I am awake? I slept somewhat normally for what, three days? You'd think I'd be allowed a little more time to recover, but no. Evidently we can't have that.

By now I have moved on from making smarter shopping lists to trying my hand at meal planning, which is kind of difficult to do if you had meant to start the next day, but then you stay awake so long that you need to eat again. WTF am I supposed to eat at this time of night? More sandwiches? I'm not going to cook at four in the morning, but my last meal was sandwiches already! Argh. I suppose I could always ... sacrifice some of that chocolate pudding for the greater good. Uhm. Yes.

Seriously though, meal planning. I appear to suck at it, but mostly because I can't concentrate. I suspect it would be just my thing, otherwise. Well, I like making lists.

There is really no point to this entry at all, is there? :P
faevii: (OMGWTFBBQ!!1)
Because A wanted to stop by today, I made an extra effort and finally managed to clean up the living room a bit. Aside from that, I'm mostly busy rediscovering how much getting up in the afternoon sucks. It's so hard to find the time to go grocery shopping that way! Bah. And you can't make any important phone calls, either.

I suppose I will devote the rest of this short day to cleaning the floors, before I finally take a shower. Yikes. (I always feel the need to do these two things in that order. Since I shower every other day under normal circumstances, that means I also vacuum the kitchen and the bathroom every other day. Every sixth day or so they get mopped, and randomly I will include the hall. It works out somehow. Now, the carpeted rooms on the other hand ... no system in place at all there.)

In other news, I sort of appear to have won something. I'm not entirely sure what, or how for that matter. I participated in several free online lotteries lately, yes, but those were for prices like an XBox or a laptop! Not ... that. I'm not sure how to describe it. I suppose I have won the opportunity to play Lotto for free for three months (starting in September), with a much higher chance of winning than usual? It sounded a bit sketchy. I'm awaiting a confirmation on paper, which will hopefully make a little more sense. It would be nice though. Imagine winning €100 every week for three months, or something! Just what I need right now ...

Insomniac Logic

Friday, July 29th, 2011 02:11 am
faevii: "I take my noodles very seriously" (srs bizness)
There is a chance that, if both my mother and I get our money tomorrow today (oh right, past midnight), we might go to IKEA on Saturday. That would, of course, be awesome. However, I'm worried that it won't be possible even with the money, due to my usual fear that I'll sleep at the wrong time et cetera.

Which is why I am currently partaking in a lively debate inside of my own head.

One half of me is like, "Don't be silly! It's not too late yet, just go to bed already! I'm sure you'll be able to sleep!" And that's all nice and well, but then the other half goes, "But I'm enjoying myself here! I may be physically tired, but not mentally! And it totally is too late; this way I'll never manage to get up early on Saturday!"

Also I want chickpeas.

I guess the very fact that I am writing this has now sealed my fate, anyway. So I might as well ingest some caffeine, enjoy the rest of the Harry/Draco fanfic I am inexplicably reading (someone recommended it on Tumblr *shrugs*), hope that I won't be too tired to go to the bank come morning ... and eat some freaking chickpeas.

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Lin

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